I was in a Seattle community and that was a disaster. Too many people in the community, mostly young people, felt that the accuser should always be right. It might work better with an older crowd, or at least people around the same age.
This.
We want to get away from anyone believing that anyone is right and anyone is wrong. We are focusing on process and meeting people where they are.
I think I need to clarify for a second. This is a lay out of the possible process:
1. Something happens and someone has feelings and experiences that lead them to believe they have been wronged.
2. They write to us via email/FB messenger or the like, because we have publicly announced, as a team, who the "point people" are for accessing what we offer.
3. The point person listens to the story, after reminding the person that anything the person says that indicates a criminal intent or is what we believe to be beyond our scope will be something we'd encourage them to take to the police or other authorities and professionals.
4. The complainant will be given relevant links to articles, etc. that pertain to their issue. The conversation will continue until they are satisfied and have done what ever they need to do on their own. This could mean that part of their process will be to ask us to approach people involved that they are complaining about.
5. If we are asked to approach the person(s) complained about, we will discuss with the complainant what they would like said and what can be divulged about their experiences. We will keep in mind that no one will be at fault or proven guilty. We mean to keep a nonjudgmental stance and simply pass on facts and arguments, without taking sides.
6. The person who is complained about will then be approached by the point person. We will have links to give them also, but will allow them a chance to tell their story first. They will be reminded that the conversation is confidential and that we are a vehicle for their words, not taking a side. We will suggest possible courses of action, if necessary, and keep in check that we are not there to mediate beyond that. Everything we say back and forth to the complainant and the person complained about will be because they allowed us to say it.
So it would go, back and forth, until hopefully some resolution occurs, or at the very least, both parties become aware of the other's reality and how they have affected one another.
It's obvious to me that this will be a very difficult task to undertake. There are many possibilities for it to go wrong. We are looking into the legalities of this approach and welcome any feedback in terms of that. Mostly I'm wondering if anyone has tried this approach, or any other, to address community issues.
My fear is that the point person(s) will be unable to back away before becoming too involved and being dragged into something that is harmful to us and our lives. We've already agreed that if the people involved are close to us, then we will pass the process on to another point person, but we will all be involved. There is a team of us for support and to do the work of finding relevant links to articles, etc. The team will be behind the point people, so we'll all be accountable for what we say and do and how each situation is handled. That team will also be made public.
I'd be interested to know what happened in Seattle. I know many people there and have an idea of some disturbance, but would love to know how it was handled.
In my city, we have had people accuse others of nonconsensual touching and sexual assault. There have been accusations of harassment and stalking, too. Historically, there have been attempts to 'out' those accused, before the person knew they were the focus of a misconduct complaint. When someone is accused, it can damage their reputation and cause them to be ousted from the community before anyone has a chance to investigate and attempt to help the accused and accuser make amends.
Mostly, confusion, fear, feeling silenced, or that things have become silenced, and the feeling of wanting to separate from the community's activities and its members is what becomes the issue. We are hoping to be a container for some of what goes on, so that all of the above yucky stuff isn't as prevalent or better yet, isn't there.