howlingmoki
New member
Hi .. obviously new to the board. I'm a 40 year-old pagan-leaning agnostic man in a long-term monogamous relationship with my wife "L". We've been together for 20 years, handfasted for 18 and currently we have a solid happy relationship -- we have ups and downs like everyone, but we've been mostly in a good place for several years. We're originally from California (SF Bay Area) and moved to Portland over ten years ago.
I'm not new to the idea of polamory, I've been familiar with the concept for a long time. My introduction came from a close friend "B" in the early/mid 90's -- she discovered the alt.polyamory newsgroup when we were at college, decided the idea fit her and ran with it. She's currently living monogamously with her partner and their daughter, she's had several poly relationships over the years, though (somewhat sadly
) she and I have always been platonic.
L has known B for years (though she didn't like B at first...), and we've had other friends and acquaintances who happen to be poly. Our friend "F", who we met at our pagan social group in California, is where L got her first impression of poly .. and not a good one. F is a great guy in many ways, but his relationships at the time were a hot mess. B would have given a better first impression but since B isn't really "out", L didn't learn that B was poly until after F left our life. Our more recent (post-move) acquaintances M and T -- the hinge and one leg of a stable MFM vee -- would have also been a good "first poly impression" for L. I'm afraid L's views on poly have been permanently colored by the mess that was F's life, and L being cheated on by her ex-husband probably doesn't help.
Why I'm here is that while I've never thought of myself as poly, I consider myself poly-friendly, it's just always been a "not my thing but whatever floats your boat" area for me. But I'm questioning that about myself .. because even though I love L and am just as committed to her as I've always been, I've also been falling in love with another woman over the last year and a half, and it scares the shit out of me. I don't know if I should go into that with my intro post here, or if I should stick it in the "Poly Relationships Corner" section .. so I'll leave it for later.
I'm trying to do my homework and learn about polyamory in more than generalities. I've read (and re-read) More Than Two, which really made a lot of sense to me. I've been reading the forum archives here for a few weeks. I got halfway through The Ethical Slut (new edition) before my Kindle died the other day, I have Opening Up on my "to read when my new Kindle gets here" list. I've been listening to the Polyamory Weekly podcast during my commute. I'm trying not to be an utter n00b.
Anyway .. hi! And now I need to hit the "submit" button and go to bed -- work comes way too early in the morning.
I'm not new to the idea of polamory, I've been familiar with the concept for a long time. My introduction came from a close friend "B" in the early/mid 90's -- she discovered the alt.polyamory newsgroup when we were at college, decided the idea fit her and ran with it. She's currently living monogamously with her partner and their daughter, she's had several poly relationships over the years, though (somewhat sadly
) she and I have always been platonic. L has known B for years (though she didn't like B at first...), and we've had other friends and acquaintances who happen to be poly. Our friend "F", who we met at our pagan social group in California, is where L got her first impression of poly .. and not a good one. F is a great guy in many ways, but his relationships at the time were a hot mess. B would have given a better first impression but since B isn't really "out", L didn't learn that B was poly until after F left our life. Our more recent (post-move) acquaintances M and T -- the hinge and one leg of a stable MFM vee -- would have also been a good "first poly impression" for L. I'm afraid L's views on poly have been permanently colored by the mess that was F's life, and L being cheated on by her ex-husband probably doesn't help.
Why I'm here is that while I've never thought of myself as poly, I consider myself poly-friendly, it's just always been a "not my thing but whatever floats your boat" area for me. But I'm questioning that about myself .. because even though I love L and am just as committed to her as I've always been, I've also been falling in love with another woman over the last year and a half, and it scares the shit out of me.
I don't know if I should go into that with my intro post here, or if I should stick it in the "Poly Relationships Corner" section .. so I'll leave it for later. I'm trying to do my homework and learn about polyamory in more than generalities. I've read (and re-read) More Than Two, which really made a lot of sense to me. I've been reading the forum archives here for a few weeks. I got halfway through The Ethical Slut (new edition) before my Kindle died the other day, I have Opening Up on my "to read when my new Kindle gets here" list. I've been listening to the Polyamory Weekly podcast during my commute. I'm trying not to be an utter n00b.
Anyway .. hi! And now I need to hit the "submit" button and go to bed -- work comes way too early in the morning.
