Reverie
Active member
The situation:
- Metamour likes to pretend I do not exist (used to be DADT, but we're about a step beyond that now, to where she knows, but does not like to see evidence).
- We've divvied up our days of the week such that they begin and end around 8-8:30 p.m., which usually works nicely.
- Boyfriend's best friend—who is also a partner of mine—will be in town this weekend, and the two fellows would like to watch the SuperbOwl together.
- I love being domestic with the two of them, and have offered to cook snacks for them and keep them company, though I don't care much for the game.
- Metamour's time is not supposed to end until 8ish, but the game starts at 6:30.
- Metamour also does not care much for the game, nor for boyfriend's BFF.
The question:
- How to handle the time-dividing during the game?
The possible solutions:
- Boyfriend invites metamour over for half of the game, kicks her out at half-time. I come over with food at that point. (Seems rude to me to kick her out, but this was his suggestion.)
- Boyfriend frames it as a party, invites several more people, explains that I will be there because I have offered to cook, and lets her make her choice about being in my presence. (Possibly miffs her because would shave off about 1.5 hours of "her" time, since there is no way she'll actually opt in.)
- I opt out of the game, therefore losing out on time with TWO lovers at once. Boyfriend's BFF is leaving right after the game. (Ugh.)
- I host the "party" and boyfriend shows up around 8-8:30 after leaving her presence. (I have the shittier TV, sound system, and am known to be indifferent on the topic of football. No guarantee that anyone would actually come.)
- We split the difference a little, and I give up time on Saturday to put toward her Sunday deficit. (Would mean canceling my Saturday dinner plans with my two lovers.)
Absolutely none of these seem like a good solution to me, and I really wish she would just learn to tolerate my presence, but you can't force a thing like that. Can any of you see a better solution that I have not come up with yet? This all seems terribly petty, but terribly petty things have a way of blowing up with metamour, and she and boyfriend generally do not have great communication (i.e., he can't present a similar menu of options to her and ask what she'd prefer, because often even him ASKING sets her off).
- Metamour likes to pretend I do not exist (used to be DADT, but we're about a step beyond that now, to where she knows, but does not like to see evidence).
- We've divvied up our days of the week such that they begin and end around 8-8:30 p.m., which usually works nicely.
- Boyfriend's best friend—who is also a partner of mine—will be in town this weekend, and the two fellows would like to watch the SuperbOwl together.
- I love being domestic with the two of them, and have offered to cook snacks for them and keep them company, though I don't care much for the game.
- Metamour's time is not supposed to end until 8ish, but the game starts at 6:30.
- Metamour also does not care much for the game, nor for boyfriend's BFF.
The question:
- How to handle the time-dividing during the game?
The possible solutions:
- Boyfriend invites metamour over for half of the game, kicks her out at half-time. I come over with food at that point. (Seems rude to me to kick her out, but this was his suggestion.)
- Boyfriend frames it as a party, invites several more people, explains that I will be there because I have offered to cook, and lets her make her choice about being in my presence. (Possibly miffs her because would shave off about 1.5 hours of "her" time, since there is no way she'll actually opt in.)
- I opt out of the game, therefore losing out on time with TWO lovers at once. Boyfriend's BFF is leaving right after the game. (Ugh.)
- I host the "party" and boyfriend shows up around 8-8:30 after leaving her presence. (I have the shittier TV, sound system, and am known to be indifferent on the topic of football. No guarantee that anyone would actually come.)
- We split the difference a little, and I give up time on Saturday to put toward her Sunday deficit. (Would mean canceling my Saturday dinner plans with my two lovers.)
Absolutely none of these seem like a good solution to me, and I really wish she would just learn to tolerate my presence, but you can't force a thing like that. Can any of you see a better solution that I have not come up with yet? This all seems terribly petty, but terribly petty things have a way of blowing up with metamour, and she and boyfriend generally do not have great communication (i.e., he can't present a similar menu of options to her and ask what she'd prefer, because often even him ASKING sets her off).