Practising open, honest and radical honesty is what did it for me... it has been difficult, but with practice I have come to learn how to communicate with care and consideration for my loves and still tell them how I feel at appropriate times and not a moment too late. They have learned to. That isn't to say I am excellent at it... if you read my blog from December on, you will see that I too have fucked up more than once. It's hard to be on top of everything at the best of times in monogamy, even more so with poly, therefore, to me, its better to not be and just have everything out in the open. People trust me more that way anyway, because everything is completely transparent.
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