How do you rebuild trust after lying/cheating has taken place?
So, I am not so much interested in advice, as hearing from others what happened in their relationships when cheating/lying occurred and how they dealt with it. Does anyone have experiences where you were able to trust again? What did it take?
I spoke about this in a previous post today. I am coming from a place where my partner and I are allowed to sleep with others, but I only have history of being in monogamous relationships and had not yet experienced my partner sleeping with someone else. My partner slept with someone else for the first time recently... at first she told me a partial truth about it and lied about the rest. She did not talk to me ahead of time before the hook-up occurred, and then said that it was spontaneous and only once, when actually she had sex twice and it was planned. Part of the issue is that we did not communicate before hand about the need for communication while she was gone although we had talked a long time ago about how she would tell me first if something was going to happen. Part of the issue is that she made a mistake and checked out. I can understand making mistakes, while also now I am very hurt and struggling with trust in the relationship.
Anyways, I have processed a lot of what happened to me, but what I really need is to hear about how others have dealt with cheating/boundary collapses and violations/lying. I would like to hear from both sides (those that have broken boundaries and those that have had their partners break boundaries).