Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
... you really didn't understand what I was talking about to begin with...
OK, I am trying to understand, offer honest feedback and soul-searching and not just throw rainbows and puppies your way. Yet now you refuse to explain yourself.
I gave it a little more thought. Maybe you're the cake AND the icing! Your cake part is your love, your agape. Your icing is your willingness or ability to have sex with RP, and/or go to poly/kink events with her-- your eros love. You're willing to give her your agape *only* if she needs to express herself sexually with Leo. She sees this as a loss, she wants the whole enchilada (hehe a euphemism referring to her peppery name). Sexual love, fully expressed, with both of you.
I'm sure she'd feel wracked with guilt to go to bed with Leo, knowing you're sitting home in the basement, or working on your bike, and not getting any sex at all from anybody. In fact, she's said as much elsewhere.
BTW, Cyndie asked earlier if it was true Leo's wife doesn't want him having sex with RP... if that is a firm boundary, did he therefore cheat on his wife by making out (or whatever happened) with RP? Where do his wife's boundaries enter the equation?