My husband and I have been reading "Polyamory: the new love without limits" by dr. Deborah m. Anapol. He is aware that I want to explore this and is aware and has acknowledged our different sex drives & needs right now. The reason I think I screwed up is because I didn't get his "permission" to sleep with this guy, although he does know about him.
Am I seeing myself as some sort of possession? The fact that there are secrets is a red flag though that I feel guilt or disapproval of my own choice or fear of my husbands reaction.