Oh, and here's another lovely conversation we had by phone. W's guy is a chiropractor, and she's been after me to let him adjust our girls. Now, on a professional level, I'm not opposed to this. I know he's competent, and it may do them some good, although I'm also not totally sold on the benefits of this stuff. In any event, it would be the first time the girls have met him, and I insist on being there for that. I want to watch how he interacts with the girls, and interacts with W while the girls are there, etc.
Now, my schedule is tight, and I told her if I get enough advance notice I can arrange to get out of work early to accompany them. She wants to go ahead and do it sooner, and even wants to go without me, which I am adamantly against. She keeps after me on this, again trying to talk me out of my feelings on this issue. Finally she just said she's considering "doing it anyway".
If she actually does this, then it is definitely going to be a deal breaker for me, and I'm going to have a long talk with her guy and end the polyamory.