Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
Such a person, who can love two members of a preexisting couple equally, be loved by them equally in return, integrate seamlessly into their lives without significantly changing the life they've built together, not want to get involved with other people, and suffer no feelings of insecurity or jealousy around being the "junior" member of the new triad... THAT individual is the mythical creature, in my eyes.
Since you and Pidge aren't thinking of being involved with both of you as a requirement, merely as a preference... well, I'm no judge or arbiter, and as I stated above this is a term which doesn't even have an agreed upon definition to begin with!... but I'd say you're NOT "unicorn hunters". Nevertheless, since you're engaging in behavior that is at least somewhat similar, it's probably good to be aware of the trope and of the associated pitfalls, so that you can be sure to distinguish yourself from people who really are hunting unicorns, and to avoid said pitfalls.
You bring up some great points to ponder. We truly don't demand or expect that he would love us both equally, just adequately for him feel happy about spending time, both intimate and casual, with us both. I really don't want to try to decide for him how he feels. Maybe he will view this as simply a very affectionate FWB thing on his end? The affection is a truly necessary aspect, though. I wouldn't want The Pidge to ever be treated as a booty call. That is one place I would draw a line.
Also, we've already discussed that we don't have the expectation that he only dates us. He might already have, or want to have, other relationships he sees as more serious than his relationship with us. We are truly trying to remain as open-minded and respectful of this poor Mythical Man as we can, while also clarifying for ourselves what we're really truly wanting.
Whew. This is complicated stuff...pant...pant...