Thread: Libido changes?
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
This is not just a poly question so, mods, if this is more appropriate elsewhere, please move it.

So I am a woman in my early forties. I am finding that my libido is MUCH more intense and stronger than anytime before in my life. No comparision to my thirties or twenties. I want sex more often, more intensely than ever before. I mentioned this to a woman friend who is slightly older than me and she said 'Welcome to your forties!'

It's not a bad thing, that's for sure! But sometimes it drives me a bit crazy. I do think that poly has had some effect - I have heard that the more one has sex, the more one wants sex. I think there is some personal truth for me in that statement.

It's been very unexpected. Have others experienced something similar? (I'm not just asking the women.) Is it hormones? Something else?

GG mentioned in another thread that she has friends who tell her 'That is what being in your [fill in age] is like, you're normal!' Or something along those lines. So I'm hoping for something similar here...
I cant exactly speak from experience (my experience with being a woman in her 40's is VERY limited) but I do know that changes in libido can be linked to a couple of different factors.

First, how happy you are. If you're depressed or stressed, sex generally seems less appealing. You may still want it but you dont have that "fire" that you otherwise might.

Second, health. That's probably the biggest one that I've experienced personally. If you feel like crap, sex is less appealing because of how you feel. I lost like 30 pounds and started working out and good gods there were days where I felt like I could screw for HOURS and not feel like I'd had enough. Those were often on days that, for reasons I've yet to figure out, I felt like I could get in a fist fight with a moving bus and win.

I've been experimenting with various neurotransmitters in the brain and I've noticed there are definitely...combinations that contribute to increased sex drive but I have no idea how the dosages relate to normal levels in the brain.
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."
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