I'm sad to hear that things aren't going well. I've always been interested in your story and I know how hard you have worked on your marriage.
Unfortunately, I have to go back to my initial first impression: your husband has too many issues of his own that he is unwilling to address. Would an amicable divorce be possible?
You love your husband, but he doesn't share your views on marriage, love, sex, etc. You've worked hard to go at his own very slow pace with your polyamorous relationships--but he's not even grateful to you / appreciative of you for that.
I'm so sorry.
Single, straight, female, solo, non-monogamous.