Well, I don't. He's not a sociopath. He just doesn't do feelings well and he prefers to avoid the rough ones. I wasn't going to come back and post but I had to correct your misapprehension.
My H got a great deal out of us opening up. He is not a cuckold. He got a happier, more sexual wife who was getting her needs met and suddenly he got the wife of his dreams. More relaxed and laid back, more patient, more loving. H told me several times it was the best decision we'd made short of having our son.
My H was always encouraging me to see L or other men. He thinks it is good for me as a person and what makes me happy makes him happy. He has no desire to close and most definitely does not feel used. The only times he was exposed to my emotions was during the blog incident and last night when I broke down completely. So no- this might be what I needed, but it most certainly is not all about me.
Me: 30 year old straight female, married to mono H (together 12 years). LD relationship with non-mono L, 6 months.