Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
I don't think that you're the "odd one out" - sounds like you went through similar stages as GG and I. It's more that we have different ideas as to which stage the term "engagement" applies to - you and I put it at the end, after all the important conversations have already happened.. GG put it at the "contemplation" phase and the important conversations were part of the "engagement" process.
Benefit to a long engagement...this is what the "wedding industry" is now geared up for. We got engaged in December, and elected to get married in June (six months later). Around February I started looking for a wedding dress, after we had decided what kind of ceremony etc. we wanted - "four months", I thought, "plenty of time" I thought...I started looking for a wedding dress (having, of course, never done this before). So I started at a "Bridal Shop"...they asked when the wedding was, I said June, they asked what year, I said "this one", they said it couldn't be ready by then without a WHOLE LOT of money, I left.
I ended up finding an awesome dress at a fabulous private wedding/formal consignment shop in Philly. My dress cost (wait, let me look at the receipt) $401.25 with another $125 in alterations (from a size 12 down to a size 2 - with a permanent bustle of the train - because I was getting married outside on the grass - and a dress-bust modification which meant that I didn't have to wear a bra, which took...two weeks with ONE fitting). With never a raised eyebrow (even when my then-fiance accompanied me, solo, to the dress-choosing)...I think I lucked out...
PS. Don't get me started on my wedding, it was perfect...for us. Everything and everyone conspired to make me feel...so happy, so cherished, so...us.
Jane, it sounds wonderful
That's what a wedding should be!
Actually, since we were so young we planned an 18 month engagement. Then we realized it was just too stressful. We'd decided we wanted to get married, so let's get married, dammit! Chopped a year off our engagement. I'm sure lots of people thought I was pregnant and that's why we moved the date (we got married just after I turned 22), but wonder of wonders, no baby appeared until years later. Guess it was just a really long gestation!
So IMO- long engagements suck!
: 32 yrs, poly pansexual Dominant female.
Mark/StbxH, my husband of ten years, now separated with no desire of reconciliation.
Henry, 28yrs, my collared submissive, dating for 11 months and recently cohabitating. Currently no other partners.
Jennifer, 39yrs, dating for a year. Married and has other partners.
Kiddo, my 6 year old son