Some really awesome info here! Thanks guys!
Autumn, I find it interesting that you are in a primary relationship which does not incorporate "vetos". I think this is what my current relationship could turn into.
Forgive me, I know I do sound naive, but as I've said, I haven't had any guidelines regarding polyamory before, so I've been working it out. I don't know why I assumed a primary partner necessarily meant "hierarchical" or that a veto had to apply... probably something to do with the relationship I just got out of.
km34- very interesting. I found it a very interesting realisation that for both partners to feel equally secure in a relationship, the methods applied to each partner may not be the same. One person may require veto power and the other may not and both partners may be perfectly happy with that. As I have said, my boyfriend is monogamous and doesn't actually feel the need to have the same freedom to date other girls.
Definitely regarding the input, he said he wants to meet anyone I want to have an actual relationship with so he can be sure they're safe and decent guys, and that means a lot to me. I know he really has my best interests at heart and will notice (probably much better than I would) if something is amiss in someone's character.
I really appreciate all of your advice, you have no idea how much stress all of this was causing me! Lol I have an anxiety disorder and have had a lot on my mind lately. It really helps talking to people who understand polyamory and particularly who can help me understand what I am feeling and trying to sort out in my own life. I guess I've been under a lot of pressure lately (work overload, break-up, unresolvable feelings for ex;(... ).
Any other info you may have to share would really be very interesting and useful to me in building a framework and understanding my own feelings and priorities. It is so great to not feel alone anymore! (None of my friends can relate on the poly thing.) I really appreciate this!