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Old 07-22-2012, 02:24 AM
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lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
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Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
It's unlikely that I would find a group that would endure me or me them. I only mention that I recognize the value of the group so people don't mistake me for being anti-group/commune/family.
A nitpick, because context is huge:

Groups, communes, and families are very different concepts.

"Group" is the broadest of the three terms in play; groups can be loose-knit or as tight as this afternoon's initial botched crochet attempt. (Ow, my hands.)

"Commune" has certain connotations and can be considered a subset of "group": purpose-led cohabitation, often with a shared ideology taking precedence over individuals' relationships with each other. Easily confused with "cult". Easily associated with crunchiness (hippies, peace and love, free love, off-the-grid, off-the-land).

"Family" is another sort of group, rather the opposite of "commune" as I define both terms: a family is about the people involved, the relationships in play, and a willingness to love each other (romantically, platonically, etc.) despite or because of differences in ideology. There are plenty of small poly groups that fit this definition, however, and are still reluctant to use the term because of the cultural implications. America, at least, has not yet embraced the extension of the family past the nuclear; at best, it allows for aged relatives to come and die with their children!

I am also not sure you would find any of these arrangements suitable. All three have interdependence in common, and you are decidedly independent and happy to remain so. I merely caution you against conflating loaded terms; a group might be a group to you, but some of us have distinct preferences regarding what we are called, and it is kind to respect those differences.
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