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Old 02-25-2012, 05:13 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 648

Honestly, I read about all those rules on your blog and I was like "Wow, that's kind of the complete opposite to what we do." Even though I can't argue with their points (what works simply works, you can't argue with success, can you?) I have to say that I would feel suffocated by all those restrictions. It's like keeping a tally sheet all the time at hand, checking if you are doing things in the right order, to the right extend, with the right person. It would put me under pressure and I would have the feeling that I need to restrict my emotional expressions to the realm where they are allowed to be expressed due to the regulation that are there for the 'different' relationships I got. Gives me goosebumps.

From what I experienced boundaries arise as the relationship develop, without us setting up regulations or expectations beforehand. If there is a problem, we talk about it, if someone isn't feeling comfortable with something, we talk about it, if there is the need to change something, we ... you get what I mean. I would always regard every relationship as equal in importance. But that may be due to the way I am able to 'do' relationships.

But as I said, if it works and all involved are on the same page, it may be comfortable for those living these rules. I wouldn't be one to live up to that and feeling at home with it. But that's simply due to the fact, that I don't think I would be able to have something that could be called a secondary relationship, I can't do relationships differently, they are on the same page in my case. Maybe that is weird as well.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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