Boundary Advice From a Couple of Old-Timers
fer all of you who already know me from my posts/blogs, hello. for those that don't, i am elemental's wife. Both he and I have been loosely involved in different versions of poly for a lot of our adult lives. I have almost always been the hinge in a vee, sometimes being one of the arms. elemental's has been the secondary in an vee, sharing a woman with her husband, and has had secondary gfs. we have been together for over five years, married for two, and have opened up our relationship three times over the past couple of years - once to a MFF triad that lasted about eight months (mostly sexual), once to a quad (MFMF) that was friendship & sexual, and once very recently...... DUN DUN DUN.... to our first attempt at a true poly fi triad.
Well, that kind of exploded in our face after just a few short months. having had no experience around this, we found ourselves floundering in deep water, surrounded by sharks and poisonous jellyfish. We were Way Out of Our League. we found the boards, and started posting, and started talking to other poly peeps. One of these peeps happens to be my sister, who is a poly relationship with her (trans) man. They have been poly for over 28 years combined between the two of them, and had a LOT of wisdom and advice to share with us. I thought i'd share their thoughts here, as when I posted them on my blog i got a number of requests both public and private to move them into the discussion forum. So, here ya be (poly drumroll please.... poly meaning we can all love the beats together.... rrrrrrrrrrrroooollll.....)
From my blog:
feelin' battered and bruised, confused and out of myself, but still okay. had a wicked long talk with my sis and her partner (trans M) last night about poly, they both had a LOT of really interesting and helpful things to tell me. what i took away from my conversation with them (combined they've got over 28 years of poly experience) was pretty interesting. they come more from a place of non-monogamy than a lot of the poly that i've seen on this board, and their advice/approach actually REALLY resonated with me. these are their responses to our situation, and it comes from their experience, and some of their boundaries.
Here is what THEY told me that i should take away from our attempt at a poly-fi-triad. Take what you like from it - i found it really interesting.
Last edited by CherryBlossomGirl; 02-25-2012 at 04:09 AM.
Reason: two grammar corrections