Originally Posted by Lila
I agree, it seems like he's just trying avoid the title of "adulterer" by adding a "spiritual" dimension to the whole idea. Just recently, due to various audiobooks he's been listening to (Mastery of Love, etc) he now sees himself as "highly intuitive" (but unfortunately NOT so sensitive!) He wakes up with a "warm glow" in his heart and butterflies in his stomach (lucky him!) Therefore, his "feelings" (which he admits are totally out of his control) are now being bestowed on him by "the universe" trying to tell him that there's more to life, he believes his destiny awaits....I told him, OK your thoughts and feelings may be beyond your control, but your ACTIONS are certainly controllable!
I am getting really angry right now, so forgive me if I come across as a bit offensive.
But honestly: what kind of bullshit is that?! He has got the nerves to tell you about 'this great master plan' the wise universe got install for him when you are in such a place? Where is the love he should offer you? If he listened to 'The Mastery of Love', why does he miss the point that there IS one love in his life already he could use all this new-found wisdom for? How can he even think of being an 'highly intuitive being' when he can't see the hurt he will cause for his spouse? Are you suffering that quietly that he doesn't have the chance to see how much it would hurt you? That he is able to lie next to you and awake with 'warm glows' and 'butterflies' while your own stomach is clenching with hurt and fear because of your situation, his behavior and the unborn?
Sorry, that was a rant, but I couldn't let those points go by unnoticed. He needs a rough wake up call. Do you really want to stay in such a relationship? I am wondering why you want to go through all those hardships … I know, feelings can be persistent, by please, think it over. This doesn't sound like anything positive is able to come out of it now or in the long run.
Again, virtual hugs to you, stay strong.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.