Hi Lila, I have been thinking about you and hoping that things had improved for you and your family. I am surprised that your husband is able to wake up in the mornings feeling a warm glow given the stress your family is currently experiencing. I wonder if he is deeply in denial about what is going on in your lives?
Having said all that, I hope you are looking after yourself. There is little that you can do to force your husband to start behaving in a more ethical way toward you but I think you can look after yourself.
I wonder if you have thought of making contact with divorced women who have children and are engaged in bringing those children up with partners they are no longer with? Maybe people in that situation could also offer you insights into the place you find yourself?
Sending you hugs and thoughts of strength.