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Old 05-20-2011, 02:53 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Sounds like she will date the couple.. But you won't. You may well feel your envy until you find someone of your own. Accepting the fact that it didn't work for you but has for her is a big step.

At some point most poly couple come to the realization that they likely won't date as a couple. Sounds like you might also be at that stage.

Best of luck

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Old 05-20-2011, 02:55 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by JakeBeaudrie View Post
The problem is not that she doesn't want to be with them without me, it's that i'm having a hard time letting go and having her be with them w/out which just seems so childish on my part. Is is silly of me to think I'd be more comfortable with it if we both had a secondary? Right now I don't and am feeling left out.
No - it's not 'silly'. Well............maybe
It's just envy. Perfectly natural.
Would you be more comfortable if you had someone to play with - maybe. Probably. But I think that's all you need to understand. Nobody likes to feel/be left out but there are times it's going to happen. Might as well just get used to it so it doesn't affect things in a negative manner. Other people have had success just finding more interests or hobbies to keep occupied. Idle minds.........etc.

Or as Mags suggested - see if there can be some role for you that is fun but doesn't involve any obligation with you and someone who turns you off. It's possible.

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