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Old 05-31-2009, 11:51 AM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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Default Falling in love with someone who's Mono...

SUCKS!! LOL I laugh because there's no other choice. I've known her for 4 years and she's known about my lifestyle the entire time. She's always said that she could never be more than just friends. She couldn't share. I TOTALLY understand that. I say all the time that this lifestyle isn't for everyone. Then I think to myself, BUT DAMNIT WHY COULDN'T THIS BE FOR YOU!!!

I've seen her date guys of all kinds and she typically ends up hurt. I try to be there for her as much as I can. Actually, I'm there as much as she lets me be. I see her get down on herself because of these guys. All I wanna do is take her, bring her into our family, and take care of her for the rest of her life. I tell her all the time that she needs to find someone that's going to treat her like the Princess that she is. She agrees, but just has trouble finding that guy. Again, I think. I can treat you that way.

Her laugh is infectious. Her smile will light up a room. Her eyes are her most captivating feature. They got me 4 years ago, and to this day still make my breath catch and my heart skip a beat. Most of all, I can see her fitting with my wives and everyone having a great time.

She's such an amazing woman and I want nothing more than for her to be happy. I know I'm not the only guy out there that can do that for her, but I've seen her try to find him and end up hurt. I hate that. Just wish she could see herself the way I see her.

So, my advice folks...If you are Poly, DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO'S MONOGAMOUS!!! LOL (Insert DUH here...lol)
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Old 05-31-2009, 02:51 PM
Quath Quath is offline
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Well, there does seem to be a lot of monogamous people on this forum who have fallen in love with polyamorous people. So a slightly amended advise is not to fall in love with someone who can not accept your lifestyle.

But that is hard. You love who you love. I don't think we ever plan to fall in love. We either guard our emotions so we don't chance exposing them or we expose them and feel what we feel. There are pros and cons to both approaches.

Sorry it doesn;t sounds like it will go any further. However, maybe you can consolidate yourself with the idea that you can share part of her life in a limited capacity. (Yeah, small consolidation.)
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Old 05-31-2009, 11:21 PM
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River River is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quath View Post
However, maybe you can consolidate yourself with the idea that you can share part of her life in a limited capacity. (Yeah, small consolidation.)
Consolation?

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/consolation
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:46 AM
Quath Quath is offline
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Heh. Yeah
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:17 PM
vampiresscammy vampiresscammy is offline
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Danny

You sure we don't know the same gal? heheh, sounds very similar to my hearts most recent fall. She's the friend of my best friend and is uber sweet, caring, just one of the most wonderful ladies I've had the pleasure to meet, only thing is she is mono. Oh, and shes also not bi, so even if i could get her past the poly thing, she'd never be mine.

Met her about 6 years ago, shes been in my life since. Only thing I can say is though my heart lurches a little when I'm around her now, its not the full upheaval it used to be. There was a time right after I met her when I wouldve given her the world for just a smile, now I keep reminding myself its no use and I only allow myself to do little things for her. I also don't see her as often as I used to. Its not a great situation, but it lets my heart calm down and loosen the hold it tries to have on her.

(((((((Hugs))))))) Good luck to you. Though we can't choose whom our heart falls for, we can try to make it see reason when its simply not within our grasp. I do still love her, but its more a friendly love now as its less painful.
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Old 06-01-2009, 04:28 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny40179 View Post
So, my advice folks...If you are Poly, DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO'S MONOGAMOUS!!! LOL (Insert DUH here...lol)
I totally agree my friend LOL! I can't imagine giving up my mono/poly relationship with Redpepper, but it is painfully happy and fullfilling if that makes any sense. The difference in wiring is staggering at times but we work to overcome issues so we can continue to share our Love and build an amazing future.

Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 06-01-2009 at 07:48 PM.
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Old 06-03-2009, 04:18 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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Thanks all. Vamp it SUCKS!! LOL Thanks for the words of wisdom and advice. The last week or so has been tough, but you're right. I have to try and make my heart see what my head sees.

Thanks again all!
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Old 06-04-2009, 08:44 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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Update...She told me today that she thinks it's best if we don't talk for a bit. She feels guilty that she's brought these feelings out, and can't give me what I want. Don't often question this, but maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Oh well, such is life.

Thanks again everyone.
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Old 06-04-2009, 08:46 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Well the same thing more or less just happened to me so maybe we should start a club or something.
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Old 06-04-2009, 08:49 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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Damn Y. I'm sorry. Wanna go to a bar or something??
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