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  #11  
Old 10-23-2009, 03:07 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Originally Posted by BexyandBen View Post
Yes. Seeking a Triad with another woman. We've talked about the idea of a V--but Bexy is not comfortable with the idea of separate bedrooms, being locked out, or having to be together on a 'schedule'. She once said, quite emphatically, "I don't know when or what I'll actually want to get involved with, but I don't want to be locked out or prevented to be with my own husband for any reason."
That makes sense to me. I'm not... so demanding (not to be rude, can't think of a good term here) of a lover GENERALLY, but I DO understand. If I need to speak with my husband I get GOOD AND PISSED if ANYONE tries to stop me. I don't think I could do the locking me out thing either. But I also recognize that I would have no issue if I could enter, even if I wasn't sexually involved....
I don't know if that makes sense.
But like C (my bf). He has no choice but to accept that by MY rules (not my husbands request) if my phone rings and it's Maca (my husband) I will answer it. IF Maca comes in the room-that is allowed (he doesn't want to-but that's neither here nor there). If he needs me and it interrupts our time-well such as it is. Fortunately C totally respects that and is ok with it. Sometimes I feel guilt-because he's a great man and deserves someone to prioritize him that way as well (thus I would prefer a quad) but either way-I have to be true to me and that means taking care of Maca's needs even if sometimes or even often times they "interrupt"....

Does that make sense? Feel like I'm speaking in tongues or something!
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  #12  
Old 10-23-2009, 03:27 AM
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BexyandBen BexyandBen is offline
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I think I get it (Ben speaking here). I told K when we were together that Bex was my first covenant and nothing she and I had would ever supercede or replace it. At best, I could offer her equal status. And that meant that if Bex said, "I need you" then I would be there for her.

I have a 20 year history with Bex that can't simply be equalled in a few months or even a year--and anyone who would think that it could really can't understand the depth of my love and committment to my beautiful bride.

All that being said, if I was with Bex and my new covenant bride came to me and said, "I need you"--then I would also be there for her. And Bex would understand.
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  #13  
Old 10-23-2009, 03:40 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Yes I understand!
DH and I have known each other for 21 years, together for 11. BF and I have known each other for 16 years as best friends.
I can't imagine someone just "plopping in" and thinking that they could begin to replace that much TIME.
The more time you spend together the more you grow together and become more.... what is the word??? I think of it like a braid.. you are just all tied into the fabric of each other.
That takes time together, not just sudden passion.



It's funny cause when you all write-I dont' really think "huh which one is this" since your pic has both faces I just sort of assume I'm talking to both of you as if you were sitting together on my sofa!
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Old 10-23-2009, 05:27 AM
Baernin Baernin is offline
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I'm glad to know that my husband and I aren't the only couple who tried to explore something and bit off more than we could chew!!! My husband persued a relationship trying for a V and I didn't speak up when she tried to steal him from me. It got very messy and left me emotionally skittish with something I'm theoretically okay with. I hope that you find the special woman you are looking for.
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  #15  
Old 10-25-2009, 12:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BexyandBen View Post
...because our friends, family and the world in general will never understand our interest.

Bexy and Ben
yeah, definitely feel you on that one. I think the world just hasn't realized how polyamorus it is :P or could be...
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