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  #41  
Old 05-21-2011, 02:38 PM
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bitterborn bitterborn is offline
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I see people.

I see them say they love their country. They say it even though history shows that truly they have been poor neighbors. Even when someone says the most idiotic things when they are speaking for the country. Even if they can admit their country has done things to people that never ever should have been done. Even when their country abhors their lifestyle. Even when their country fails them. Even when their country takes money from them. Even when they are jailed, have liberties removed, lied to, have privacy invaded, have land taken away, manipulated, forced to change habits, have standard of living lowered, and treated different than others. I see them even after all of that say that they love their country. It doesn't matter which country you are from you have seen it too.

I see people and I am disappointed that they come closer to acceptance and unconditional love for their nation than they do with their partner(s)
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  #42  
Old 05-21-2011, 05:03 PM
scramcity scramcity is offline
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WOW. Sounds like the political differences just reared their heads.
I can't understand it either when one affiliates with a group who would happily shoot them on sight. I also see your points about the bf. I am the new third in the triad of a long term married couple who were never poly but had occasional romantic friends join their bed over the years. I don't know if I am projecting- probably- but I don't get the equal standing ideA the dh promises I feel it's insulting a bit to the dw.
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  #43  
Old 05-22-2011, 10:55 AM
Lily Lily is offline
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Bitterborn,

I've just started reading the blogs and life stories and naturally went to yours since you were the first (only one so far) to welcome me here with some encouraging words.

Wow...... to add my praise to others'.... you are a wonderful writer... your words moved me to tears a couple of times. And as for the way you handle your situation and all the thoughts and emotions involved...... wow. Sorry, I'm not as eloquent as you are.

I dream of finding the acceptance you have for M and R. I've fantasised about broaching the subject of a poly relationship with my partner and in my mind (although this is not something I'd say out loud), I think, "how much do you love me? Do you truly love me enough to accept my needs and feelings?"

I wonder if I could be so accepting if the shoe was on the other foot and he was the one plucking up the courage to tell me that he had anOther. I hope so.
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  #44  
Old 05-23-2011, 11:59 PM
Mattressmate Mattressmate is offline
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Default I am Bitterborn's M

I am the M that Bitterborn refers to in his thread..... Life is Funny.
Tho I am not as eloquent with my words as he is, I feel that the other side of this story must be told.

We have always had an open relationship, but this whole poly thing is a bit new and different for us as a whole.

I never expected, nor did I want, to fall in "love" with anyone other than my husband. Not that I have ever believed in monogamy but "love" is a whole other story for me.

Falling in "love" with R was not what I wanted. It has been a strugle just on that point. Much less telling my Beloved (Bitterborn) that I was in love with another man.

Talk about fear. lol

Good thing that Bitterborn is more preceptive than me. After all he was the one that brought it to my attention that it was OK if I felt all these emotions for R.

I was (and am) confused as to how this is supposed to go.

Does anyone really know how it's "supposed" to go?

But what I do know is that since we have always promised to be open and honest with each other our relationship with has become a much closer and stronger one.

R and I are going through a difficult time in our relationship right now. Growing pains if you will. And bitterborn is my rock that is helping me not go totally crazy and open my eyes.

I will write more later.

I just thought that those of you who read the words of my Beloved should also hear from the one who goes crazy with the doubts that pour threw any relationship.
Regardless of whether or not you want to call it "normal".
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  #45  
Old 05-28-2011, 11:53 AM
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bitterborn bitterborn is offline
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Sorry it's been a while, reality and weather with it's associated power outages have kept me fairly occupied. I did a post a story --> http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10222
If you want to read it.

A lot of people have commented that I have found some amazing elusive acceptance for M and R. Putting aside jealousy and appreciating their love without it affecting mine and M's. For the most part that's true but not because we planned it that way. This kinda of just happened, none of us three were looking to establish it so we ended up here without any preconceived fantasy of what it should be like.

R comes over once or twice a week, him and M usually get to see each other for a little bit every day and there is lots of texting and calls. I pretty much get the lion's share of time with her. She is happier, she is fufilled, it has made our relationship better because of that.

R and I text some and the three of us have meaningful conversation when we are together, we are all friends, we all have our own time together and alone.

If we were to all live together I don't know how I would feel, I don't know how she would choose which bed to sleep in or whose hand to hold. At this point it's not something I have to worry about so I don't let it bother me. I will cross that bridge if we ever get to it.

Currently though, I want what she has. I am envious of her situation.... I am looking at people with a different set of eyes, I know it's possible now and I see how good it can be for the one in the middle.
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  #46  
Old 06-01-2011, 04:57 AM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bitterborn View Post
R comes over once or twice a week, him and M usually get to see each other for a little bit every day and there is lots of texting and calls. I pretty much get the lion's share of time with her. She is happier, she is fufilled, it has made our relationship better because of that.

R and I text some and the three of us have meaningful conversation when we are together, we are all friends, we all have our own time together and alone.

If we were to all live together I don't know how I would feel, I don't know how she would choose which bed to sleep in or whose hand to hold. At this point it's not something I have to worry about so I don't let it bother me. I will cross that bridge if we ever get to it.

Currently though, I want what she has. I am envious of her situation.... I am looking at people with a different set of eyes, I know it's possible now and I see how good it can be for the one in the middle.
These are all awesome things Bitterborn. You are in a really good place emotionally it seems, and very accepting. I am a bit envious. How long have you been in a poly situation?

The bolded sentence I get. I have similar worries. And I am the poly one!

Mattressmate-
Quote:
I never expected, nor did I want, to fall in "love" with anyone other than my husband. Not that I have ever believed in monogamy but "love" is a whole other story for me.

Falling in "love" with R was not what I wanted. It has been a strugle just on that point. Much less telling my Beloved (Bitterborn) that I was in love with another man.

Talk about fear. lol
I so get this!!!! Thanks for sharing your perspective.

Last edited by Morningglory629; 06-01-2011 at 04:59 AM.
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