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Old 05-04-2011, 05:26 PM
IamE IamE is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 6
Default Hello :) I am "E"

I am "E" (prefer to just keep it simple). I am not married but I have been in a relationship with a married woman for over a year. It started as a very casual experience but developed into something much more serious. In mid-December we said "I love you" and things have continued to develop from there. Oh, to back track - in case you are wondering, her husband knows about all of this. Ok... so in the past month she has chosen to stop seeing others (this relationship didn't start as a polyamorous sort of thing, more... of what is called "Hotwife"). I do not "demand" she doesn't see anyone else, just that if she does I want to know about it so I am not caught off guard and I that we can address the feelings that will surely come up from that. She has recently encourage me to find someone else though - not a "buddy" but look for something that can become serious - because I would like kids and a family someday (she already has both and cannot provide that for me in my life but wants me to experience it for myself). I want to keep my relationship with her. She has not only been a great lover but my best friend for the better part of the past year. I know it will be hard to find someone who will choose to be part of a new relationship with me while joining part of the dynamic of an existing relationship. (anyone have advice ?). Anyway... that is who I am. I do not know if she or her husband will register on here or not (we are all part of a different forum as well). But I thought this would be a good place for me to learn from others and their experiences. I am glad their are resources, like this, availble.
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Old 05-04-2011, 06:51 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

Hi E,
I like your intro and I just wanted to say you sound happy and sound in your relationship, and it is nice to hear. Glad you're here
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Old 05-04-2011, 09:22 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is online now
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 557

Originally Posted by IamE View Post
I know it will be hard to find someone who will choose to be part of a new relationship with me while joining part of the dynamic of an existing relationship. (anyone have advice ?)
I don't know how you "know" this. You seem to be well-adjusted, not jealous, in love with your best friend and happy about it, non-controlling but interested (wanting to be informed of other lovers but without the details is a sensible self-protection measure), with a positive attitude towards polyamory in particular and Life in general.

I don't care what you look like: to me you sound like a pretty attractive proposition! You should have little problem finding another meaningful relationship.

p.s. You say that you want children, she has children and wishes that experience for you, but can't help you on this one. Just a shot in the dark, but have you (both) ever heard of co-parenting? Run a search on this board to get a take on a co-parenting/polyamory interface. (Here's my favourite thread which deals with it.)
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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Old 05-04-2011, 10:17 PM
IamE IamE is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 6

Thank you for your response. I am not sure that co-parenting is the path for us to take (for many reasons) and it is not a choice that just the two of us could make - there (obviously) is a husband/father involved in all this too. I will not say "never" but I doubtful that would be a path we chose to take. This type of relationship is new to all three of us - none of us have ever experienced anything like this - and I think that we have all decided to that it is best for us to take small steps so we can all adjust to, and examine, how those steps affect us. I have yet to even meet her husband and that is something that is coming...but again, taking it slow - no need to rush.
Thank you for the kind and complimentary words in your response.
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Old 05-07-2011, 03:20 PM
IamKC IamKC is offline
New Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1
Default Hi


I am KC, E's girlfriend. I figured I would introduce myself here rather than start a thread of my own. As E said we have been in a relationship for a little over a year now. This type of relationship is not something I ever would have seen myself in but as he said it just kind of happened. At this point I dont really think any of us can say where this is going, as he said we are taking baby steps and trying to figure all of our emotions out.Any way, I am also open to any advice, it seems there are many people here at many different stages of poly relationships that have been or are at the stage we are at in our relationship.
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