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Old 05-18-2011, 12:21 AM
redbullgivesuwings's Avatar
redbullgivesuwings redbullgivesuwings is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 20
Default Difficult

Ok so some weeks back i was involved in a three way poly relationship. It did not last long before cracks emerged in the form of what i can only describe as jealousy and control.
I ended the very brief encounter with both my friend and her boyfriend who has since announced on facebook that he is in an open relationship with her, which then progressed to engaged and now there is even talk that they are moving in together after only knowing each other 6 weeks.
I beleive the male in this relationship suffers from a Narcissistic personality disorder oh and he has been diagnosed as bipolar. The most difficult thing to deal with is his paranoia and on a few occasions has accused me of telling lies, playing games and being manipulative. When he has reevaluated his statements hes come back to me and apologised...
I also feel my friendship with my friend is being damaged by all this and I am unsure where to go what to do and where this leaves me.
I would like a friendly outcome from all this and for me to keep the friendships however... dealing with her now engaged BF's mental health problems and apparent paranoia - which I have to say on occasion scares me.
I feel I am going to lose a friend and much more from all this.
Any advice apart from the obvious for now - and that would be to keep my head down and stay away from both of them. What can i do to repair this situation?
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:42 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I don't think you can repair it, or that it's even up to you to repair anything. All you can do is express your feelings about it and step out of the way if you feel it is detrimental for you to be around them.

You have nothing to lose by telling your friend, "I would like our friendship to continue, but I feel I need to limit my contact with your boyfriend. I don't think it's healthy for me to be around him, and in fact I wonder the same for you. I hope you still want to be my friend, but if you do, please respect my wish to not hang out with him. If you can't do that, then I wish you all the best."
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
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