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Old 05-19-2011, 04:54 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187
Default How to scramble communication

I just reviewed a text conversation I was involved in last night and had to chuckle. Here are quotes from three consecutive messages in a conversation on one topic:

"So confused...."

Next message: "I'm just super confused...."

Next message: "I don't think there's any confusion...."

For context, the discussion came about because she had seemed distant since returning from a trip. We had been at a friend's house and she was much less affectionate than usual with me and I had attributed it to recent health issues and figured she just wasn't feeling very affectionate. She then snuggled up on the sofa with another friend.

That told me that the issue wasn't with being affectionate in general, but rather being affectionate with me, in particular. So I asked if I'd done something to upset her. She sent me several messages rehashing things I thought settled, confusing me greatly. Her claims of confusion had me befuddled.

It was only after the last message quoted from above that it became clear that something else entirely was the issue. I don't know if she just realized it or if she'd been trying to avoid the issue (consciously or not) or if she just hadn't figured out a way she was comfortable talking about it.

As it worked out, she'd sent me several messages that were confusing. I offered several responsed wherein I was confused. She then told me to chillax, it was this other thing and it would work itself out soon enough. As I was already relaxed, not panicked nor upset nor even overly concerned, I found it easy to chillax. I assume it will work itself out one way or another soon enough.

Heh. Even with people involved who have some skill at communicating within relationships, the process can break down.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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