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  #281  
Old 05-11-2011, 08:37 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachelina View Post
I can see why people would want to take a break from dating, but in our case we are all committed to each other already so it doesn't make sense to take a break.
That would be a logistical nightmare in our life. I've always had my nearest and dearest friends as "family" and they've been a GODSEND with raising my children.
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  #282  
Old 05-11-2011, 11:15 PM
Athena Athena is offline
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I think it depends on where you are at relationshipwise. If you aren't in any active relationships when baby arrives, it is such a lifechanging event that you may not have energy at least during the first few months. However, as you adjust you figure out how to go back to having a bit of a social life, though it takes more planning than before.
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  #283  
Old 05-12-2011, 01:41 AM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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*Raises hand*

@ BlackUnicorn,

We took a break.
Mind you, 10 yrs ago, we weren`t in a 'poly' or open relationship so to speak. We called it 'exclusive swinging'

Poly was a word associated with those misfit polygamists,(in our minds back then) and we didn't want to be associated that way.

When I became pregnant with my daughter, ( not long after losing a baby at 5 months gestation) I pulled away. Wanted to do things 'right'. I was scared of being caught, outed, whatever. Scared something I did, caused my loss.

So it was my doing. Of course it didn`t make sense in hindsight. I was grieving, and made choices that were permanent.


If I knew then what I know now,... I would of kept the relationships going, and given the people we cared about, a chance to prove they were capable, trustworthy people, who wouldn't make silly mistakes at our expense.

I didn`t give them that chance. Most definitely,..my bad.

So today,..we still have no wish to be outed, or in the open. That will always be. However, we give people a chance to prove they are on board with us. If it`s not quite fitting right,..there are other options, and we can date away from home.
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  #284  
Old 05-12-2011, 07:12 AM
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We had no relationships going on when we got pregnant with our boy and he was born. He was our relationship. We felt that we couldn't justify giving our time to others and taking it from him. We were way into attachment parenting and this was part of it for us. He didn't leave me until he was over a year (LB and I were in one bed, PN in another) and I breast fed him until he was three. I had barely room for PN in my life at the time. I'm glad we did it that way, because all the literature and my gut was right, this boy needed all I gave him in the way of attention, attachment, and time. It was so worth it.

I think if there was someone like Mono in my life back then, they would of been a part of that. Any part of my immediate family would be. I just wouldn't and didn't start something new with anyone. It wouldn't of been fair to them really and my head wasn't in it at all.
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  #285  
Old 05-12-2011, 08:59 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Yep, the breast-feeding part, while not exactly a problem, is a bit of a challenge right now, because when the baby needs to eat, Mum is the only one who can provide atm. But on the other hand, it's not really time away from the kids Mrs. needs right now but time away from housework to spend with the kids, and I am more than happy to provide!
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  #286  
Old 05-16-2011, 12:08 AM
foxypoly foxypoly is offline
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My husband and i have always dated girls and had some relationships lasting up to 6 months but it has always been hidden from the kids. We are now dating a girl and want her to move in with us. Our biggest concern is our 8 year old and 6 year old and the ? about why we all sleep in the same room. can anyone give me some advice. THANKS
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  #287  
Old 05-16-2011, 02:00 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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"Because we're grown-ups, and grown-ups can sleep wherever they want. When you're a grown-up, you can sleep wherever YOU want."
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  #288  
Old 05-16-2011, 02:32 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Keep it simple. Folks seem to mess things up by trying to give children much more information than they need or can process. Just tell them that you three like to sleep in the same room and that they'll be able to decide on their own sleeping arrangements when they're adults.
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  #289  
Old 05-16-2011, 03:40 AM
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My 8 year old hasn't asked anything, I don't think he thinks about it. Have they asked? Or are you assuming they want to know. If they don't ask then don't say anything I think, and act like its normal. Kids are confident in the adults in their lives if they remain constant and are comfortable with their choices. If you aren't then "faking it until you make it" is okay too.
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  #290  
Old 05-19-2011, 11:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Yep, the breast-feeding part, while not exactly a problem, is a bit of a challenge right now, because when the baby needs to eat, Mum is the only one who can provide atm.
My reply to this got moved (twice - first creating its own thread, then into the thread "breastfeeding"). It pointed out that other women - even women who have never had children - can, in fact, breastfeed. It's now here. It has - in turn - been commented on (one comment dealing with the surprise of a lover to find her girlfriend lactating).

While I can understand the move, I think it's also pertinent information to this thread about children, so that's why I'm posting this. My point is that if you really want to get implicated, if the mother is willing to let you share this intimacy with her child (some might want to reserve this bond for themselves: others might be VERY happy about not being the only one "on call" [a chance to sleep right through the night now and then!!!]), then it is possible...
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