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  #161  
Old 07-15-2010, 07:32 AM
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not child free, but when my boy is away and it's just us?... I totally see how easy it could be eaiser!

One day. He's seven now... that leaves at least 10 plus years before he may move out?? *sigh*
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  #162  
Old 09-04-2010, 04:09 AM
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I love this thread and think it's worth bumping.

Also, early on in this thread I had mentioned that I was in a quad situation and three of our children were attending school together, and someone asked me to keep them updated. Well, a year later... (I'm sorry!!!)...

The school year went fine. Teachers were notoriously unable to tell who was whose mother, and so just grabbed whoever they found roaming the hallways. Because of this, I volunteered in a classroom that didn't belong to me...was asked to sign documents for a child that wasn't mine (I respectfully declined this)...and was constantly given updates on children who didn't biologically belong to me. At one point, Asha was out of town and her children's teachers expressed surprise that I had come home early. (Really sad when you consider that Asha is a blond and I'd been dying my hair red.) We attended school events together as a family, and at no point was there any question about who belonged to whom, nor were there any raised eyebrows over Easy having his arm around Asha or me hanging out and talking to Sunday every morning. Of course, we didn't do anything lascivious, but who would? I don't behave that way with Easy, either. Over all, our families were intertwined all year with no real comment from the teachers. I had a teacher ask me two or three times if Asha and I were sisters, to which I just replied, "Our families are very close" or "We're very close friends". No one ever asked more than that.

Funny thing is, my Monkey is going to a different school this year, but I went with Asha to pick up her kids a couple of weeks ago. At one point, I ran into one of the teachers who couldn't figure out who I was last year, and she *still* thought I was Asha. She even hugged me, and frankly, I don't think we've even been introduced.

Another funny moment...Asha and I were in the same homeschool co-op for years, TOGETHER. Yesterday, she had my Moose at a store and ran into another co-op member...who thought she was me and proceeded to ask her lots of questions about Moose and his school. We rarely bother to set people straight--it sometimes is just like having another you to step into your shoes and allow you to be in two places at once.
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  #163  
Old 09-26-2010, 04:17 PM
inlovewith2 inlovewith2 is offline
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That's something Lemondrop! I've been reading this thread with interest because DW and I are heavily considering coming out to our kids--they are 9, 7, and 4 and have met DW's girlfriend.

I'll post questions later but we are off to the track--I'm glad it went well for you Lemondrop and that you don't get flustered by the mistaken identities :-).
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  #164  
Old 09-26-2010, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inlovewith2 View Post
That's something Lemondrop! I've been reading this thread with interest because DW and I are heavily considering coming out to our kids--they are 9, 7, and 4 and have met DW's girlfriend.
Redpepper's son was five when we met so over the last two years he has kind of just grown into me in his family. He knows we all love each other so it's natural fo him now. I think the only way it would seem unnatural is if some one were to tell him that or he felt teased or judged.

Another friend of ours just came out o his teenage daughters. They simply told him "whatever, as long as it doesn't affect their lives".
He was disappointed that they didn't want to talk about it more or discuss alternate ways of having relationships. He is relieved to be out though and feels it was a positive move.
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  #165  
Old 09-26-2010, 06:42 PM
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Our kids just met L's boyfriend last week. It was a positive experience. They both love him and think he's great for her. Our oldest (19 y/o daughter) said she liked the way he treated L. She also said that while he wasn't what SHE would have chosen, he WAS kinda hot. LOL
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  #166  
Old 10-06-2010, 03:59 AM
alexi alexi is offline
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Default Children in a polyamorous relationship

My wife and me are in a relationship with another couple for about a year now. To strengthen our bonds further the other couple have suggested that we have a child each from the opp spouse followed by a child from our own wives. We have no kids now. We are in our thirties.

Do you thing this is a great suggestion and a safe one too. What could be the possible implications?

Thank you
Alexi
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  #167  
Old 10-06-2010, 04:39 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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At the moment my thoughts are:

Why?

Is a year really enough time to determine that you want to have children with these people?

Who will be the legal guardians?

How will you discuss things with the children?

What about when they are in school and have the others children on the playground asking questions?

I'm not against it, but I think there is a lot there for you all to discuss and think about. Alot of good and bad can come from this. It all needs to be considered before making such a decision.

My biggest concern is, why from the other partner first? I'm 27 my husband is 29, we've been together 8 yrs married almost 5, and we have no children. When the time comes for that, I want to have my husbands child.

It's a big step all around. I wish you luck in that decision, but for your sake and that of the kids, don't make it lightly.
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  #168  
Old 10-06-2010, 04:45 AM
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aLABiMCpl aLABiMCpl is offline
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Arrow 1st is 1st....




Kind of weird suggestion actually.

I would think if having a kid with the other in a couple was a viable option it would be the 2nd one.... 1st being having one with your spouse.


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  #169  
Old 10-06-2010, 04:55 AM
alexi alexi is offline
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I am totally against this idea. I feel maybe aLABiMCpl's idea is a better one. But still I am not game atleast for the moment.... for I feel uncomfortable and feel it's too early for such thoughts as Mohegan has pointed out.

Thank you
Alexi
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  #170  
Old 10-06-2010, 05:15 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Yeah if you're against it, then it should be an easy decision.

Don't place anyone in a situation that they aren't sure of. Especialy children.

I am really one who advocates for a healthy home for children. If anyone has issues with this, it will not be healthy for the children.

Smooth things over with the couple as simple as "we aren't ready and when we are, we'd like our first child (or all depending) to be ours. We are happy with this relationship, but this is a step we aren't ready for"

How would you handle it if you weren't married and the one your were dating for a year said, I want you to parent my child? I'd personaly run, but that's me.

I question why they would even bring this up.
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