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Old 06-15-2011, 11:43 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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The Wikipedia excerpt sounds like the way I feel. For me whatever is non-typical and affects my life is a lifestyle. So I have a vegetarian lifestyle, and I have a poly lifestyle, and I have a non-shaving lifestyle. That means I get up, have my meat-free breakfast, kiss both my husbands good morning and go comb my armpit hair. It's all normal parts of my life, none of it is a normal part of the masses' lives.
Note: this is a dramatization. I don't currently have two husbands, often don't eat breakfast at all (although when I do it's indeed meatless) and don't comb my hairs daily, be them on my head or elsewhere.

But hey, I honestly don't have a problem with people not calling these things lifestyles. For me, the way I choose to lead my life (or, the style I choose for my life, if you wish) are lifestyles, but if to you the word is heavily charged with other meanings, well then it makes sense not to use it.

For me, vegetarianism affects my life because right now, out of the 5 restaurants in the square down from where I live, only one has a vegetarian option in either appetizers or main dishes. So, big effect on where I eat. And if I'm with more than one partner, I'm going to walk with both of them in the street and get nasty looks and comments (same with just walking alone just by virtue of not shaving) so both affect my life on a daily basis too.

But then, I would also consider being diabetic a lifestyle if I have to check my blood sugar after every meal and get an insulin shot daily. Or being a smoker because you need to take breaks and go out to smoke. So I realise my definition of lifestyle might be a bit more loose than average.
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Old 06-16-2011, 09:24 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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The point being made, though, is that while of course how a person chooses to live is a lifestyle, which includes many things, but "a lifestyle" is not necessarily the same as "the lifestyle" as if there is one agreed-upon, mutually predetermined way to be in order to qualify as having that kind of lifestyle.

Someone can say, "I am polyamorous" or "I lead a polyamorous lifestyle," where it still remains open to interpretation and is obviously a choice that person made to incorporate polyamory into their own individual lifestyle -- but it simply assumes too much if that person said, "I live the polyamorous lifestyle." Then, someone would hear that and say, "Oh, what is the polyamorous lifestyle?" or, "Oh, I want the polyamorous lifestyle." And what would they do, model their lives after the person who said it in the first place? Then they wouldn't be creating their own way of living and being polyamorous, and if they run into someone else living polyamorously but in a vastly different way, they could think either that person or themselves are doing it "wrong." So, to say polyamory is a lifestyle to adopt, when it is simply the choice to love more than one, can contribute to erecting barriers and misunderstandings.
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Old 06-16-2011, 10:24 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Thank you, Indie, for your clear and concise sum-up of the debate so far!
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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