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Old 04-22-2011, 05:11 PM
disappearingpoet's Avatar
disappearingpoet disappearingpoet is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 14
Default Hi.

Hi, I'm R.

I'm new here, just kind of browsing around. Poly in practice is sort of new to me, within the last six months or so, although it's something that my partner D and I have had in mind for a long time. D and I have been together for close to three years as a pair, most of that time we've been working to improve our communication and get more comfortable with emotions. I've had a lot of work to do on that end, but I have a professional to help with that, which has been really helpful for me.

Prior to our relationship, D lived with L, who is his brother's ex, and her two kids, D's niece and nephew for four years. Their relationship is more sibling-flavored and platonic. (D is gay, I'm... whatever I am. Gay with exceptions.) D, L, two kids, and I now all live together, and have for the past year and a half or so. My relationship with L has become less platonic as time as gone by, which is really... different, for me. I've mostly (99%) been with men, but I'm absolutely very attracted to L. It doesn't hurt my brain too much if I just roll with it and don't try to think about it too much.

At this point, each of us is free to pursue other relationships, so long as communication as a house remains open and transparent about what's going on. D has a kink playmate (he and I are kinky, L is not, but he and I are on the same end {Dom} of the kink spectrum, which would be the reason for playmates) and I've had short term playmates in that regard. L in general is more social but less sexual, and not interested in pursuing outside relationships at the moment.

Our household is really happy, I think, complicated, but happy. It only feels complicated when I try to explain it to other people, most of whom don't understand very well. But if anybody would, maybe it's people here.


(edited for clarification)
“Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.” -Kerouac
I'm R (male), I live with D (male) and L (female) and L's two kids.

Last edited by disappearingpoet; 04-22-2011 at 05:28 PM.
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Old 04-24-2011, 06:16 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Welcome aboard.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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