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  #71  
Old 05-07-2010, 01:35 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Originally Posted by KatTails View Post

Good luck Maca, LR and GG. I hope you guys can work this out!

Kat
We WILL work this out Kat-but let me tell you why.

It's because I and they have decided that we can't live without a great relationship-and I have a great relationship with each of them, in order for that to continue-they have to have a great relationship too.

This book I'm reading (I know I keep bringing it up but it's REALLY a great book) pointed out that one of the top 10 reasons that people never have GREAT relationships-only tolerable ones,
is because they don't make it a NECESSITY. Here let me get the book......
.....


"Reason #6: They never make it an absolute must

If you needed a great relationship to survive, you would have one. If you needed a relationship the way you need air to breathe or water to drink, you would be in a great relationship right now. Most people are more interested in simply surviving than they are in thriving. Most people have what they MUST have, not what they would like to have.

Reason number six is that they never make it an absolute must to have a great relationship. If you took a few minutes to sit down and write out all the ways a great relationships would cause you to flourish and thrive, then establishing such a great relationship would likely become significantly more important to you. If you keep pondering the ways a great relationship would transform you and your life, at some point you would come to the conclusion that you must have a great relationship.

Those who never reflect in this way live their lives thinking or saying, 'I wish I had a great relationship,' or 'It would be nice to have a great relationship,' or 'I hope that happens to me one day.' They describe people who have great relationships as lucky. They never make it an absolute must to have a great relationship.

Great relationships are as difficult to achieve as they are rare to find. They are not achieved by luck or chance. They don't just show up and are never convenient. Couples with great relationships decide that they are unwilling to live without a dynamic collaboration. They make it a must.

They treasure their relationship above all the fleeting and superficial things that most of us give our time and attention to, for they realize that a dynamic relationship causes them to thrive in the emotional aspect of their life, and encourages and challenges them to thrive in the physical, intellectual, and spiritual aspects. They have discovered their natural yearning for intimacy, and they are living out the dream of that intimacy.

You've got the relationship you must have, not the one you should have, or the one you'd like to have. Only when you realize that you can't live and thrive without a great relationship will you seriously begin to take steps toward establishing one. You've got to make it a must! "
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  #72  
Old 05-07-2010, 01:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
And if anyone does throw their head in the sand...it leaves them ripe for a little paddling .
I think I pee'd a little!

God that was fucking HYSTERICAL to visualize!!!

I so can't wait to sit around a campfire with you guys either!!

I'M SO GLAD the guys got balzy enough to just throw it all out there. They "had it out" last night too-Maca printed the thread and when GG got home they went for it.
(both on their own couch).

It was great. They didn't solve everything (is it even possible?) but they started to learn each other.

I heard GG realize something he didn't realize was hurting Maca.
I heard Maca realize something he didn't realize was hurting GG.

They learned a little more about how each other thinks, how they work, what they want/need, where they hurt.

Good things.

Looking forward to s'mores, campfire-a drink, but can someone PLEASE bring something OTHER than beer!!!
TELL ME RP that there is SOMETHING ELSE to drink in that town!!
Hell I'd prefer kool-aid!!

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  #73  
Old 05-07-2010, 07:38 AM
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Kat-

Greengecko quoted the sheryl crow song-hell if I know which one it is-ask him, he always knows music shit.


You can spend a lifetime miserable dreaming about what COULD'VE BEEN (song called that too actually).
"Soak up the sun" -Sheryl Crow 2002

"Could've been" -Tiffany 1987

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  #74  
Old 05-07-2010, 08:04 AM
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I promise I'll respond soon. It's been a long day.

I will say this for now....

Maca and I did have a great conversation. There were some things I posted that were cleared up during that conversation and I think we're on our way working toward a common goal, TOGETHER. =o)

I'm really greatful for all your support, we really need it. =o)

RP/Mono/Ariakis- I will be there, no worries. =o) Looking forward to fire and beer. =o)

KT- LR's right. It's freaking hard as hell sometimes to be able to get your fears under control enough to move forward. Reality is though, we're all just as fragile as anyone else. Any single one of us could be dead in an instant. Any one of us could be crippled for life or write a phrase that changes the world. The ONLY thing we can really control is ourselves, and by that , I mean our attitudes, our thoughts and feelings. How we view the world is everything. If you don't like what you see... get different glasses. I hear rose color works pretty well.

Maca- You're so right that it's so much easier to look at someone elses problems so much clearer than your own. But I think that's why God created FRIENDS. To be that outside set of eyes that see us in another perspective that we can't. Then with that perspective, we can see ourselves more clearly. For me, it usually helps me realize that while my intentions are one thing, my actions say otherwise. I often dont realize it and it takes a friend, or someone close that I won't take offense to, to actually see what I'm doing.
I hope we can be that kind of friend to each other someday. I think our talk helped kick-start that possibility.

LR- ...I love you so! Thank you for being the open handed smack to my head.

Goodnight everyone... more later....
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Last edited by GreenGecko; 05-07-2010 at 08:07 AM.
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  #75  
Old 05-07-2010, 12:01 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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I moved a bunch of posts from here over to this thread:

KT's Blog (Was: Does this ever stop hurting?)
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  #76  
Old 05-07-2010, 06:59 PM
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
My son doesn't whine much. He used to but everytime he does I ask him the same thing, "what do you need" "talk to me about what is going on for you" "what do you need to do to get your needs met?"

I am teaching him to think this way early. He is getting it.
Thank you for the awesome parenting advice!! It carries over for adults too, but honestly I think that's a great way to train kids (and husbands?) to think for themselves and think about "needs" in general.

I'm going to make it a point to try it...
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  #77  
Old 05-07-2010, 10:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenGecko View Post
"Soak up the sun" -Sheryl Crow 2002

"Could've been" -Tiffany 1987


See what I mean????

Good grief.
AND I bet he popped that shit out off the top of his head.
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  #78  
Old 05-07-2010, 10:27 PM
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[QUOTE=GreenGecko;28725]
Quote:
RP/Mono/Ariakis- I will be there, no worries. =o) Looking forward to fire and beer. =o)
ANOTHER thing in common..........

Quote:
LR- ...I love you so!
I love you too M'ebe. AAFTEOTA.

Quote:
Thank you for being the open handed smack to my head.
Well I gotta have someone I can let those momentary Dom emotions out on.
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  #79  
Old 05-10-2010, 08:42 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I think I pee'd a little!

God that was fucking HYSTERICAL to visualize!!!

I so can't wait to sit around a campfire with you guys either!!

Are you guys coming camping???
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  #80  
Old 05-10-2010, 09:02 PM
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Girl you need to THWAP RP, Mon and PolyN for not enlightening you! OH and Derby too!!!

Yes-we'll be down in August.
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