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  #11  
Old 04-05-2011, 04:22 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Couples ???
Yes, where in a couple one was monogamous and one was polyamorous.....
I was teasing you about that choice of words because a couple is TWO. If one of them is poly, there are MORE THAN TWO in the relationship. Any people involved beyond two should not automatically be considered "extra" to a couple. There are so many dynamics possible. It seems that you're still thinking very monogamously!
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  #12  
Old 04-05-2011, 08:41 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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We would usually talk about intimate network for the whole relationship (with all the people involved, no matter the size) and then different terms for different sides.

Or you could phrase it from the point of view of a single person ("I never thought of a mono being in a relationship with a poly" or "I never thought of a poly being in a relationship with one or more mono(s)")

It's true that I too did a double take when I read "couple". It is basing it on the idea that these two people are the "real" relationship, and that other people would be extra or additional. Even if these two dated before adding other people to the relationship, there is no saying people in the relationship see it that way (a couple plus others) rather than seeing the relationship as a whole. And the mono partner might be a partner who joined the relationship later, too, and then excluding other, more established partners might make even less sense (why are these two the "couple" when their relationship is three months old and others are twenty years old?).

But we're teasing you, really. Just trying to give you a different perspective here
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  #13  
Old 04-06-2011, 06:56 PM
vodkafan vodkafan is offline
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Oh wow! I never thought of couples where one was monogamous and one was polyamorous.....how you deal with jealousy issues would be of great value to my research, so please feel free to use the empty box at the top of the survey! and thank you!
OK will do.
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  #14  
Old 04-08-2011, 03:09 PM
Carnita Carnita is offline
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I took the survey and despite the fact that I have a primary partner (as your survey rather assumes), I also had some issues making my situation "fit." For instance, I left a whole section blank because although my partner and I do have an agreement in our newly poly arrangement about eventually phasing in sleepovers, it simply has not happened yet, and so I can't speak with the authority of experience about how it makes me feel.

Also, I think "favorite" is a word that grates many poly people. It's like trying to get me to use a spectrum that only goes from black to white instead of the whole rainbow of ways I can feel about people. And just because I have chosen to have a life partnership with one particular partner does not mean that all in all I love him more than other people.

Anyway, I hope you find what you set out to discover. It would be really difficult to design a perfect survey that could account for all the variance in poly relationships, so I for my part can hardly blame you for the blind spots in your study.

Will you update in this thread when you finish it?

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Last edited by Carnita; 04-08-2011 at 03:10 PM. Reason: I keep forgetting to include my blog link. I'm trying to get in the habit. =)
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  #15  
Old 04-08-2011, 06:30 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Originally Posted by Carnita View Post
Also, I think "favorite" is a word that grates many poly people. It's like trying to get me to use a spectrum that only goes from black to white instead of the whole rainbow of ways I can feel about people.
That's a great analogy! Yes, it sounds a bit like someone asking you about a rainbow "which colour is the most black?"
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  #16  
Old 04-09-2011, 01:56 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I took the survey.

Definitely think that it would be more functional if it didn't assume that a couple was "primary" and that all other partners are secondary.
While it does ask the question if you have two primary relationships, all of the other questions are specific to only ONE of your relationships.

Also, it asks if there's an agreement with your partner about overnights-which I have with one partner but not the other.
But then it asks all about how I deal with his overnights.
Well, he hasn't had any. I have but he hasn't-circumstantial. It does not ask how we deal with my overnights....

Hope that helps.

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  #17  
Old 06-17-2011, 07:49 AM
irraboppinype irraboppinype is offline
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Default Polyamory Survey Participants Needed

Hi guys still looking for participants, please take part if you can.

If you have a study and do mine I will do yours in return.

Alex
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  #18  
Old 06-19-2011, 02:52 PM
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Hades36 Hades36 is offline
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Ok, where is the link for survey? Send it to me directly and we will take it.
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