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  #81  
Old 07-25-2011, 03:49 PM
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JameeDee JameeDee is offline
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Hello loyal readers, new friends.

I just thought I'd do a quick check-in and let you know what is going on in the roller-coaster that has become my life...

We are all three doing very well. I think the added pressure of coming out to my mother has whipped everyone into shape - lol

We are all being very protective of "us" right now...and I like it

Well, the rift between my mother and I is not healed, but is better.

She finally wrote me a long email to explain her side. She thinks the 3-person dynamic is a problem. According to her, it will never work, and someone will end up hurt. Also, we are "ruining our children's lives."

So, in a weak, child-like moment, I decided to point out her flawed logic...I returned an email that said, "Hubby and I are getting a divorce. I am moving in with Pinky. Does that make it better?" My thought process was...she would realize immediately that me having only one lover would not fix the problem. AND should know that I would never leave Poppa. Well, that didn't work out so well...

I received a frantic call from my mother while in the Deli of our local grocery. She had just received my email and wanted to know what was going on. I was immediately mad that she believed that email for one second. She said that would make it better for the kids.

Phone call with mom was not pretty in the end. She was crying - I was pissed off - I told her she was over-reacting as We are ALL trying to figure this out. Nobody is moving in with anybody today! I asked her to calm down and assured her we would talk later.

That was Monday. By Saturday, I still hadn't heard anything from her, so I decided to drop-in and see where her head was.

Well, she wasn't crying. After small talk, I asked if she was feeling better. She said, "We're just going to have to agree to disagree." We talked about some other things. Just before I was leaving, I said, "there are some great resources on the internet." She quickly replied, "Oh, I've been there. We just shouldn't talk about it anymore."

yet again

How is that going to help? If I've learned anything from my new relationship...it's that COMMUNICATION is key. Ignoring things you don't like never makes them go away.

So here I am. Mom knows. She is not thrilled. I am trying not to allow her to poison my brain, but she's got a tiny little corner of it. That, I do not like.

So on my way out the door. I give mom a hug. Tell her I love her. She says tell Poppa and B (my son) I said Hi!

It took all my energy not to ask if she wanted me to say "hi" to Pinky, too.

This time, I kept myself in check, and was on my merry way.

Oh boy. Hopefully the next few months will pass uneventfully and she will chill out.

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  #82  
Old 07-27-2011, 07:04 AM
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Pinky1223 Pinky1223 is offline
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Hi Everybody
I'm still working on that list of pros and cons....its funny....the best word I can use for this relationship is "fluid" which I've heard used to describe polyamorous relationships in threads here.........saying that...the pros and cons this week are different than the ones last week so I have some updating to do......
Its been a little bit of a roller coaster for a few weeks but we are on a good stretch right now and everything has been peaceful I had to take a little step back and figure out what I wanted....was I really ready for this...could this ever really work...how was this all going to end.....could I give up all my previous expectations for my life and accept this new life I was reaching for???? These were all questions that ran thru my mind over and over while I tried to have some "space" from Poppa and JameeDee.......
And the conclusion was...I wasn't happy without them......sure life was easier just focusing on me and my kids, not constantly collaborating on how to spend time together, feed 7 people, figure out work schedules, have alone time, etc.....but I just wasn't happy. I was bored. I missed half of my family.
And so I decided that I was willing to deal with life being a little harder if it meant I was alot happier. I wish I had the owner's manual to a committed, loving relationship between 3 people, but truth is, working it all out together has made us that much stronger and none of us are quite as happy or strong without each other anymore. We could all move on and lead independent lives if we wanted or needed to, but I don't think any of us want to anymore. All 3 of us are just a little bit better and a whole lot happier together.....
We have a unique little family, not everybody likes it....but it works for us and somehow....thru fights and hurt feelings.....pissed of mom's and endless concerns from friends and family.....and (of course) all of our own little insecurities, we're sticking it out and it gets just a little bit easier everyday.
I love my life, my 2 loves, and my family....so I guess I'm gonna do whatever it takes to keep it just the way it is
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  #83  
Old 07-27-2011, 07:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JameeDee View Post
We are all being very protective of "us" right now...and I like it

We always do better when we are all 3 focused on each other, our life, what's best for our family, and don't let the repetitive concerns we all hear over and over control our happiness.....our family is what is most important to us and when we focus on it, it all just falls into place......I don't just like it, I LOVE it!!
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  #84  
Old 07-27-2011, 02:51 PM
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JameeDee JameeDee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinky1223 View Post
Hi Everybody
We have a unique little family, not everybody likes it....but it works for us and somehow....thru fights and hurt feelings.....pissed off moms and endless concerns from friends and family.....and (of course) all of our own little insecurities, we're sticking it out and it gets just a little bit easier everyday.
I love my life, my 2 loves, and my family....so I guess I'm gonna do whatever it takes to keep it just the way it is
Don't you see why I love her?
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  #85  
Old 07-27-2011, 03:07 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinky1223 View Post

And the conclusion was...I wasn't happy without them......sure life was easier just focusing on me and my kids, not constantly collaborating on how to spend time together, feed 7 people, figure out work schedules, have alone time, etc.....but I just wasn't happy. I was bored.
very good point and a question I wish people would ask themselves more often.
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  #86  
Old 07-28-2011, 02:25 PM
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JameeDee JameeDee is offline
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Smile Good stuff

I feel like I only post when things are crazy. It's not always like that.

Pinky came to see me this morning when she got off work. We had about 30 minutes to chill before I had to leave for work.

While I was getting ready, she climbed in bed with Poppa, who was snoozing contently.

I finished getting ready for work, kissed my loves good bye for the day, and left them to sunggle with a grin on my face.

Looking forward to an evening together tonight. We may take a ride on the Blue Ridge Parkway, have a bottle of wine, and dessert later

Today, life is good.
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  #87  
Old 08-01-2011, 08:07 AM
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Pinky1223 Pinky1223 is offline
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Talking This is why I really love my family

[Hey Everybody
Just thought I'd follow suit with Jamee and post on a good day....which is the real reason I love my little poly life!! No worries...we will have some drama soon enough and we will need advice again but I thought I'd tell you about our great weekend together tonight

I worked Friday night (boo!) but it was after having a nice short trip out of town with Poppa for some lunch at (this is the best part) a sandwich joint named "Pinky's" where the local "tattoo crowd" (we love our tattoos!!!) hangs out.....Jamee was at work during the day but we all managed to meet up and have an hour or so together at the house before I headed in for the graveyard shift......Poppa and Jamee got to have an evening at home together ...and Poppa even made a quick trip out to take me to get something to eat for my lunchbreak before he went to bed

Saturday morning started with me dropping off breakfast to Poppa (who has to work early on weekends) which was ok.....but we had a little rift while I was there because I (very quietly) told him something he told me he said to Jamee kinda hurt my feelings. I left with a kiss but it was tense and I headed home to vent to poor Jamee for an hour before her hair appointment BUT Poppa came home from work told me he loved me and we took a nice nap together and then we had some fun threesome grown up time (from the living room to the bedroom, hehe) all together when Jamee got home while the house was still kid free We somehow ended up with only one kid (my 8 year old daughter) Saturday afternoon so we made a trip to this great hot dog/milkshake shop so she could have some fun time all by herself with 100% of the adults' attention (every kid likes to be an only child from time to time) and then we had a chef friend of ours and his girlfriend over for the evening and they made us YUMMY grub on the grill....after dinner, the 3 of us snuggled up in the king size bed with full bellies and got a good nights sleep

Sunday started with me taking my daughter to her Grandma's for church then visiting Poppa at work and playing on YouTube for an hour (we enjoy these silly things!) then taking my beautiful girlfriend breakfast in bed and we got some fun girl time with another childfree moment...when Poppa came home, somebody had to go begin the child collecting, and Jamee volunteered to do so, so that Poppa and I could have some much needed one on one make-up time and another nice cuddly nap together (FYI we're all better now...I finally feel like he and I have really made up from the last big fight because until this weekend, I was feeling like there was still underlying tension between he and I...oh yeah...AND I have the most awesome girlfriend looking out for me and Poppa's relationship too!!). We had a great snuggly power nap then got up and all 3 of us pitched in for a thorough spring cleaning of the house, laundry, grocery shopping and cooking another awesome meal we all contributed too (and Poppa promises that he's coming to my house this week and helping me spring clean and catch up on a few things at my house too....he'll follow thru on his promise, he's good like that ).....Our weekend ended with kick back time on the couch watching some TV together with the kids....we all called it an early night because tomorrow is Monday and Jamee has a huge day at work, my oldest starts a rigorous week and a half of band camp, and we just all needed a good night's sleep (notice I am still awake!! LoL).

Besides all the fun times, Jamee kinda stepped into her Mommy#2 shoes and helped me with disciplining my kids this weekend for the first time (which was totally fine with me). I got to take Jamee's son to meet his girlfriend's parents for the first time! WOW! and Poppa jumped in and cleaned up my 3 year old's peepee accident (all over his favorite leather chair...ouch!) I feel like we are all parenting all 4 kids now and I like it....Jamee and Poppa are so much help to me and I get the 4th kid I've always wanted.

It was a good weekend...we really are pretty much like any other family, just with 3 parents, all working together to try to figure it out......these are the times (that really is most of the time) that we all hang onto and work for everyday!!

I am back at home with a smile on my face, love in my heart, and peace of mind...looking forward to Mexican night tomorrow and getting to cook for my family, especially my wonderful girlfriend who is gonna have a looong Monday at work!!!!

Here's to another great week with my wonderful family

Last edited by Pinky1223; 08-01-2011 at 02:12 PM. Reason: Addition
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  #88  
Old 08-01-2011, 02:05 PM
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River River is offline
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Pinky,

Could you please insert some paragraph breaks [return key] in your big blocks of text? I want to read it but the absence of paragraph breaks makes it difficult to keep track of the lines....

I'm happy to see that the three of you are doing well and being happy.
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  #89  
Old 08-01-2011, 02:11 PM
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Pinky1223 Pinky1223 is offline
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Unhappy Oops!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
Pinky,

Could you please insert some paragraph breaks [return key] in your big blocks of text? I want to read it but the absence of paragraph breaks makes it difficult to keep track of the lines....

I'm happy to see that the three of you are doing well and being happy.
I think I fixed it
I'm sure the Pink text doesn't help either and I just ramble on when I get on a roll if you haven't noticed already
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  #90  
Old 08-01-2011, 04:01 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Thanks Pinky! That is much, much easier to read. Now I can read about your joy!
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