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Old 09-22-2009, 10:32 PM
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ladyjools ladyjools is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 175

speaking from someone who has cheated in the past,
and who is still with the person i cheated on,

i hope that it is possible to heal and move on from that, i know it still hurts my partner that i cheated on him, but i take full responsibility for what i did. I have done messed up stupid things in the past, mostly because i was insecure and had so many issues myself, i didn't know how to be any other way i had to learn how to behave in a loving relationshp and sometimes i still have difficulty but i try and we are always talking and are open about everything that has happened.

Just because iv made those mistakes doesn't mean i love my partner any less it really is more about how i feel about myself than how i feel about him
i dont' know if it helps for you to know that,

we are now in a mostly sucessful polyamorous relationship, and are working very hard to keep things healthy and honest

it is worth the effort in the end

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Old 09-27-2009, 07:34 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Right here. Right now.
Posts: 652

BrotherMan, I feel your pain. I know what you are going through. As I read your posts, I could have been writing them myself, about a former fiance.

I wish you a better outcome with your wife than I had with my fiance. That relationship ended very badly indeed. But I cannot say that I regret that experience, heartbreaking and devastating as it was on every level of my life. Because now I know the treasure I have in my loyal, loving Hubby. He is not a perfect man, and he may blow it big time on occasion, as we all do, but he is as fiercely loyal to me as I am to him. And that is bedrock on which we can build.

That being said, I will never argue against a married couple working to keep it together. I sincerely wish that you and your wife will find your way to healing and wholeness, both as individuals and as a couple. I couldn't make it work once the loyalty had been betrayed on such a deep level, but I wish you both the best possible outcome, whatever that may be.
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