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  #51  
Old 03-16-2011, 09:22 PM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Robfire: Thanks for sharing your experience, That's exactly my style of communication, and a style I'm putting away, hopefully for good. I've Talked more in the last week about what's really going on with me/us/her than....well I don't really know when. Odd. One of the first thing the folks here recommended for me was to stop pretending/lying/avoiding and get busy talking about what was/is really going on. Easier said then done. I've suffered from an affliction I refer to as "Superhero syndrome" No fear to big, no lie to small,this closed mouth fool can carry it all. Seems I can't. Guess that big S on my chest stood for stupid not super. Sorry about the rhyme, trying to be clever and failing badly. Bottom line, is that we now talk about us every day.

ImaginaryIllusion: Good council. I may be Insane but I want her to move forward. She, whom I will now refer to as T has stated that if I want her to wait or not act she will stop. But that's just delaying the inevitable. I'll never get to where I need to be with this until it's real and in progress. My fear of loss, rejection etc. will only be truly gone when i see T coming home, after spending time with him. I hope. I don't if this makes sense, but I have to get to where I'm going to deal with where I am. And at that time I'll find out just how far I've actually come.

Thanks for keeping and eye out for me by the way. Nice to know I've got folks here to keep me focused and help me with this oddly exciting life change.

Beodude123
Sucks don't it? I'm finding that not only are the tears unexpected, but the embarrassment afterward just adds to the problem. I have to get over feeling embarrassed about being human, yes another issue to work on. Lovely. Thanks for sharing, glad to know I'm not the only one.

Hi Carma, You're far ahead of me in this dance. I am glad to hear you and Bob have found some equilibrium. I hope to one day be at a stage where I don't feel at war with myself..

Right now, today, as I post this I am fear free and reflective. The next two days are going to be or could be very different for this wee lad. Wish me luck. I'll post about tonight after I get home. Stay tuned.

FT
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  #52  
Old 03-17-2011, 12:43 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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So, T and I had sex....great sex! not unusual for us really, but what is different is that its been 15-16 times since last Thursday! The day I first started posting here and the first day I admitted to being in over my head. No I'm not bragging, (ok maybe just a little bit) but I am startled at what's going on. The excitement, Passion raw sexual energy are intense. Is this normal? Because A guy could grow to like this.

Last edited by Freetime; 03-17-2011 at 12:49 AM.
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  #53  
Old 03-17-2011, 02:14 AM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
So, T and I had sex....great sex! not unusual for us really, but what is different is that its been 15-16 times since last Thursday! The day I first started posting here and the first day I admitted to being in over my head. No I'm not bragging, (ok maybe just a little bit) but I am startled at what's going on. The excitement, Passion raw sexual energy are intense. Is this normal? Because A guy could grow to like this.
Yup, totally normal. It will pass, but enjoy it while it lasts!
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  #54  
Old 03-17-2011, 05:00 AM
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Yup, totally normal. It will pass, but enjoy it while it lasts!
agreed.
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  #55  
Old 03-17-2011, 05:45 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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T and I went out tonight to a social event where M was supposed to show up as well. he never did. This is the second time he's been a no show and it makes me wonder if this guys right for the job so to speak. He had made plans last Thursday to get together with T but bailed on her. ( see first post)the day this all go started for me, and now tonight he had intimated he'd be at the gathering tonight but didn't show. Frustrating for T and for me.

It'll be interesting to see what tomorrow night brings as that's the one to one "business" date they have set up.

I have a serious question, I actually want this to work out for T. it's a mix of getting past the will she, won't she see this guy and wanting to see her have a new life adventure. What's the question? Right! How the hell did I get to here and how do I keep it here? The feeling of acceptance and support I mean.

The difference in how I feel and how I think of this experience today as compared to my first post is shocking. I'm in a completely different place spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. Is this real? Is it temporary? Is this normal?

Wow, I talk a lot. Sorry about that, but this whole week has been far outside of what I thought I knew and believed about myself, my marriage and my wife.

I'll stop talking now.

Last edited by Freetime; 03-17-2011 at 05:57 AM.
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  #56  
Old 03-17-2011, 05:54 AM
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All of its normal... keep at it... that is all there is to do
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  #57  
Old 03-17-2011, 11:24 AM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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It's been my experience that there is an ebb and flow of acceptance. You seem to be in a place of greater compersion right now, and that is awesome, but don't be surprised if that changes.

When it changes, don't make the situation worse by berating yourself for not being in the lovey state you are now. Simply accept it and focus on the bigger picture. Are you generally becoming more accepting? I think so, given what I've read.

Overall, things will get better and easier if you and your wife keep up with all the hard work you're putting into this. Day to day, (hell, moment to moment!), you will see much larger flutuations.

Last edited by TruckerPete; 03-17-2011 at 11:25 AM. Reason: Typo
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  #58  
Old 03-17-2011, 01:07 PM
Beodude123 Beodude123 is offline
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Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
how do I keep it here? The feeling of acceptance and support I mean.

It won't always be there, if your experience is like mine. There was a ton of back and forth. Just remember to talk it out, and eventually you will get to the base of your fears. That day, for me, was a big stepping stone in the right direction.
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  #59  
Old 03-17-2011, 01:57 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
So, T and I had sex....great sex! not unusual for us really, but what is different is that its been 15-16 times since last Thursday! The day I first started posting here and the first day I admitted to being in over my head. No I'm not bragging, (ok maybe just a little bit) but I am startled at what's going on. The excitement, Passion raw sexual energy are intense. Is this normal? Because A guy could grow to like this.
Mmhm this happened to me and my ex too. As i felt more accepted as bi and poly, and he also got into the idea, our sex life heated up dramatically.

In fact, even tho we eventually broke up (after 30 yrs), to the very end of our relationship, the sex stayed hot. One of the last days we were together, we had so much sex, he came 5 times in 24 hours. New record for him, in all those years together (and not bad for a 55 yr old guy )
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  #60  
Old 03-18-2011, 12:29 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default Well here we go.

Magdlyn: (and not bad for a 55 yr old guy ) Hahahahaha Hell M, that's not bad for an 18yr old!

Beodude123, Truckerpete, redpepper, Thank you for sharing your experience. it's pretty awesome to have folks helping me out with this. So much is changing for me, How I see my relationship, myself and my wife. This week has been and continues to be one of the most intense times in my entire life. And that's coming from a guy who has done and experienced some pretty heavy shite.

T is out tonight on her date as I type this. I'm feeling.......tired. No sadness no fear, just tired. T left acting like a school girl going out on her first date, and I felt like her Dad telling her to be careful and call if she needed to. We put into place some ground rules for tonight, no unprotected sex, no sleep overs, call and tell me where she is if they go to his house, and if she drinks, to call me and I'll come pick her up. Did I miss anything? Don't know.

What I do know right now in this moment is that I love that woman more than I can adequately describe. I'm focusing on that love and our history together to keep me from wandering into the dark places of fear, mistrust and jealousy.

I'll post again after she returns tonight and let you know it went. After all in one way I'm on that date to, ya know?

FT
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