Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-14-2010, 09:08 PM
Andy4700's Avatar
Andy4700 Andy4700 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Southern Minnesota, USA
Posts: 56
Default Dating sites - besides OKC...

I've been on OKC now for quite a while and have had zero luck meeting anyone poly. 99% of the women on there seem to be looking for traditional relationships. :/ I met an awesome new friend on there, but thats about it.

Anyone know of any sites more geared toward poly or open relationships?

Its getting depressing to not know where to look. Seems like there has to be someone for me out there.... its just finding her..... grrr
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-14-2010, 09:24 PM
TL4everu2's Avatar
TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Clearwater, Fl.
Posts: 907
Default

Andy, There are a few....but so far, OKC is the only site which is really "poly friendly", as well as highly used. I didn't like it either, personally. My wife and I have wanted to develop a site such as the one you are describing....but are currently too internet stupid to do it.
__________________
There is a lid for every pot...Sometimes even two or three...
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-14-2010, 09:41 PM
Andy4700's Avatar
Andy4700 Andy4700 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Southern Minnesota, USA
Posts: 56
Default

I saw one pay site for poly people, but I am guessing there are no members..... I don't like paying for such things anyway....

I had 2 "almost maybe turned into somethings" from a post I had on Craigslist once, but that streak of luck seems to have ended.

OKC seems awesome for the single person wanting a traditional mono relationship.... I am just not finding many girls to message that seem open to poly or the fact that I am married.

I would be all for a FREE poly dating site.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-14-2010, 09:57 PM
TL4everu2's Avatar
TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Clearwater, Fl.
Posts: 907
Default

Trust me, I can relate. We got lucky. We met the woman we are currently dating, on OKC. Oddly enough, she said she thought she had deleted her profile from there months before I contacted her. Then, out of nowhere, I send her an e-mail. She said she thought it was weird. Then, within like 3 days, she actually DID delete her account from there. I kept mine on for a few weeks more. Then, my wife and I decided that V was the one....and I deleted my account too. I have not had any luck on Craigslist at all....other than people wanting NSA sex. (Not what I'm looking for)

My wife, on the other hand, had guys trying to date her left and right. Geee....I wonder why? Then, she actually dated one...he got what he wanted, after like 3 weeks and more than a few dates, and was gone. Typical freaking scumbag. He made my wife happy for the time they were dating though, so I was supportive. I voiced my concerns, and what I saw. My wife wouldn't believe me....soooo...yeah.

Anyway, it has been my experience that on OKC, guys are USUALLY simply looking to hook up, while women are USUALLY looking for mono relationships. There are a few exceptions....but...it would certainly be easier to have a site dedicated to just poly people.

The problem? Guys would use it to try to simply hook up with random women and have sex.....because, afterall, "poly women are all nympho's who cant get enough sex"....right?
__________________
There is a lid for every pot...Sometimes even two or three...
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-14-2010, 10:30 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,288
Default

What about Lavalife? That's free, and you have three different profiles, one for serious LTR, one for casual short term, and one for sex only. Plus I think they have some chat rooms, if I recall. It's a huge site, so maybe because of the sheer numbers, and the different categorizations, there might be more chance of meeting poly-friendly folk.

Oh, and BTW, I'm interested in seeing if poly works for me, and joined OKC to meet poly men, but I don't mention the words poly or polyamorous in my OKC profile. Women do have to be more cautious. There may be a chick on OKC for you, but it's just harder to find them.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein

Last edited by nycindie; 12-14-2010 at 10:34 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-14-2010, 10:44 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872
Default

okc is the best. Its 100% regional for how useful it is. i live in a strong poly area, so matches are easy to find. Other regions might not be as good.

There is a polyscentric dating site. I disliked it. Anyone who I would have been curious about wasn't "active" anyone who was no where near my type was. Can't remember the site of course...I found it beyond useless.

have you tried local poly meetups etc? Munches etc. Online might not be the answer in this situation.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-14-2010, 10:50 PM
Andy4700's Avatar
Andy4700 Andy4700 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Southern Minnesota, USA
Posts: 56
Default

I have not tried Lavalife. I will take a peek.

Yes.... I always wonder if there is some woman on OKC that isn't familiar with Poly, but would actually like what I am wanting.... :/ The situation I seek is kinda fluid.. and I can't help be think maybe there is a girl around here that isn't wanting a regular relationship, but would enjoy having someone stable for a longterm-ish casual relationship.... But how do I find her? Grrrr It sucks....
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-14-2010, 10:53 PM
Andy4700's Avatar
Andy4700 Andy4700 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Southern Minnesota, USA
Posts: 56
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
have you tried local poly meetups etc? Munches etc. Online might not be the answer in this situation.
No... Still seeking those too.... I was hoping that if I could meet some localish poly folks even just as friends.... they may know if there even is anything around here.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-14-2010, 11:17 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy4700 View Post
No... Still seeking those too.... I was hoping that if I could meet some localish poly folks even just as friends.... they may know if there even is anything around here.
You might have to do some googling.

The percentage of "matches" that occur for monogamous people on dating sites is a very low number. Add the complication of non-monogamy and you will see there is a vast challenge. Meeting people locally, first, will always work out better imo. Unless you live in a hot bed of poly that is.

I assume you have joined this group

http://www.mnpoly.org/

to see if there are other alternatives for you in your area.

sometimes, unless you want to do long distance, online is not the best place to find people
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-14-2010, 11:51 PM
Malach Malach is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 8
Default

I met someone on OKC, after being on there for months. Comparing our experiences on the site, she would get messages all the time, I had trouble getting anyone to reply to mine. Fairly typical male/female experience difference that's been talked about here, before. I finally deleted my OKC account in frustration, recently. Still good friends with the woman, although the dating part of our relationship ended...long story. So it wasn't a total waste of time for me, but one good result in 10 months is a lot of work for little return.

There's also PolyMatchMaker, for a poly-specific dating site, but the pool of active members seems small. http://www.polymatchmaker.com
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
dating, dating sites, internet, online dating

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:05 PM.