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  #91  
Old 03-07-2011, 07:35 PM
disillusioned disillusioned is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
. . . Yawn . . .
Wow. That wasn't nice, was it. I'm starting my own forum, I'll post the URL tomorrow.

And it was for postgraduate.
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  #92  
Old 03-07-2011, 09:06 PM
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Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
Hi everyone,

I have to say I'm kind of shocked at the responses ....
Thank you, MeeraReed, for this important and valuable (and well studied) contribution to this discussion (meaning, the whole topic as discussed throughout the forums here).
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Last edited by River; 03-07-2011 at 09:12 PM.
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  #93  
Old 03-07-2011, 09:11 PM
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River River is offline
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Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
Disillusioned wasn't yelled at for ....
Thank you, NeonKaos, for this important and valuable (and well studied) contribution to this discussion (meaning, the whole topic as discussed throughout the forums here).

It is good to discuss ideas openly and honestly -- and also with respect and without arrogant disregard for others.
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  #94  
Old 03-07-2011, 09:24 PM
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MindfulAgony MindfulAgony is offline
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Originally Posted by disillusioned View Post
Wow. That wasn't nice, was it. I'm starting my own forum, I'll post the URL tomorrow.

And it was for postgraduate.
LOL.

I wish you well.
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  #95  
Old 03-07-2011, 09:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Penny View Post
I read Sex at Dawn. It was fascinating and, ....
Good post, thanks!
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  #96  
Old 03-07-2011, 09:42 PM
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Where I do agree with Dissillusioned is when he says -- paraphrasing -- that to have a social norm and expectation that seeks to impose monogamy on everyone causes harm. It really is time for us to call "bullshit" on enforced monogamy -- enforced with shame, guilt, fear, etc....

It is also harmful to enforce heterosexuality in this way, as Dissillusioned said.

I'm all for a "revolution" that calls bullshit on harming people "for their own good," and I too will defend Dissillusioned on this point. A radical revision of these norms IS called for, and urgent.

Otherwise, I agree that Disillusioned could benefit from choosing his words with more care and respect to others in the forum.

And I also agree with those who insist that there really are plenty of people who are genuinely happy while in monogamous relationships, and that polyamory should no more be enforced (with shame, guilt, fear, judgement, law ... ) than monogamy.
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  #97  
Old 03-07-2011, 09:55 PM
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I am pretty much in agreement with River there. I would like to see consensual nonmonogamy treated as a legitimate option rather than as a dirty secret.
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  #98  
Old 03-07-2011, 10:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disillusioned View Post
It is not wrong "for me". It is just plane wrong
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
I do NOT think Disillusioned was trying to tell anyone on this list that it's wrong to feel you are monogamous. He was just trying to generate a spirit of activism to tackle our society's mono-centric culture.
Oh no.... what does this say then?

I might be poly, but I don't think telling people they are wrong is an approach I want to be apart of; as I have explained earlier. As that attitude didn't change in the OP as far as I know, I am uninterested in associating with this thread further.

Please send me a PM if I am needed here. I haven't read anymore and don't intend to otherwise... I see other Mods are here... so carry on. I will respond when spoken to, but that is it.
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  #99  
Old 03-08-2011, 02:42 AM
Charlie Charlie is offline
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When I first read this thread, some days ago, I decided that I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. "Caustic" is the word that comes to mind.

However, without further ado, I open my mouth.

This is ridiculous.

I've been noticing a slight pattern in a few threads that I find unsettling, and that pattern is ill communication followed by harsh words, which leads to upset members, and, bringing up the rear, a bad vibe.

Frankly, I don't like it.

As a community of people, we have arrived here by way of many different paths and I find that to be a beautiful thing. But for all our differences, of opinions and backgrounds, we have one thing and one thing only that is common to all of us: polyamory.

Now, the only revolution I've witnessed growing here exists as a lack of respect and an abundance of sarcasm amongst community members.

Sarcasm, as my father likes to say, is what keeps people from killing each other. However, I'm not sure it prevents people from being spit on or spit at.

I am not implying that I expect to see everyone get along all the time, or agree on everything. That would be an ignorant expectation. Where I take issue is that while we aspire to offer a new perspective to the cultural paradigm of committed, LOVING relationships, a revolution if you will, we do ourselves a disservice when we speak in nasty, snarky, sarcastic ways to one another within our own community. If you think no one is watching, think again.

The Montgomery Bus boycott, historically popular as one of the most important revolutionary acts for social change, did not happen by accident. It was premeditated, calculated, and funded. Rosa Parks was, I believe, the third person put in place on the bus line to challenge the racial line. Why? Because the first two women had sketchy backgrounds, come to find out, the second woman being found to be pregnant out of wedlock. Why the history lesson? Rosa Parks was the face of that revolution and the community knew that her character would be scrutinized thoroughly and her background had to be impeccable.

So here's my two cents: There are numerous revolutions going on around the world, the majority of them beginning peacefully on the part of the revolutionaries. If there is to be a cultural revolution, one that recognizes polyamory as a viable, honest, respectful, natural, loving option (alongside monogamy) for adult relationships, it better present a face (community) to society that is honest, respectful, natural, and, yes please, loving.

So many of us come to this forum because our lives have struggle and hurt in them already, and we come here seeking advice and solace because it is safe here. Please be nice, as often as possible.

But then again, I could be full of shit.

Last edited by Charlie; 03-08-2011 at 01:48 PM.
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  #100  
Old 03-08-2011, 02:49 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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I actually thought this thread was rather funny (sarcasm notwithstanding), but I can see that other people are taking it rather seriously. Oh mai...
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