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  #11  
Old 09-09-2009, 03:28 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveOrlando View Post

It's hard enough to figure out what one woman is thinking, let alone two. I guess I have a fear of them ganging up on me
If you read the messages posted on this forum, you'll notice that it's all about communication, not "figuring out what [someone else] is thinking".

Unless you happen to be one of those self-proclaimed "empaths" who ALWAYS knows what other people are thinking I mean feeling better than someone knows theirself.
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  #12  
Old 09-09-2009, 09:01 PM
DaveOrlando DaveOrlando is offline
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No.. I am a decent communicator. I just realize that many people dont say what they mean
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  #13  
Old 09-09-2009, 10:41 PM
Libre2Love Libre2Love is offline
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Dave, I'm Trish and new to this also. You can read a bit more about me here...

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=704

Anyhow, something that I shared with my husband about this lifestyle (I'm the one who's done all the research and reading, thus far), is that in my opinion, it makes much more sense than what our society believes is the right way to have a relationship: one-one-one. Why do I think that?

Well...

let's consider the huge divorce rate we have in our country. Somehow it's okay for us to marry, divorce, marry, divorce, love em, leave em, love em, leave em. Why is that okay and it's not okay for us to love more than one at a time? I love my husband and don't want to live without him, but I am human and attraction (physical, emotional and mental) to others will occur. I would be lying if I said that would never happen.

I believe that we can each fulfill the areas of our lives that need love, attention, affection, stimulation, comfort, sympathy, etc. with more than one soul-mate. It just makes more sense to me than the way society views love and relationships.
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  #14  
Old 09-09-2009, 11:25 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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The ability to engage in multiple romantic relationships definitely requires a certain skill in logistics but it also involves a genuine desire to look after more than one person's emotional and physical needs. I don't mean all of them but enough to keep them as loved as they expect. Looking after the sexual needs of multiple people might not be that challenging but handling the emotional needs of those same people might prove even more exhausting

Of course there is also the internal wiring aspect. Some people are naturally wired to romantically love more than one person i.e. Redpepper, and some people are not i.e. me.
Do you feel you have the capacity to sustain meaningful relationships with multiple people? Are you prepared for them to be involved with multiple partners as well?

Take care
Mono
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  #15  
Old 09-10-2009, 05:41 PM
DaveOrlando DaveOrlando is offline
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Thanks for the responses.

SO much to think about... just trying to make sense of what's in my head and heart. I will keep up the self examinantion, and continue to read of others experiences here.
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  #16  
Old 09-10-2009, 11:27 PM
Catfish Catfish is offline
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Welcome to the fold, Dave. All the best to you as you sort through what may well be the best decision you ever make.
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  #17  
Old 09-11-2009, 12:39 AM
Karelia Karelia is offline
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Hi Dave... I'm also pretty new, both to the forum and polyamory. I'm married and we have a girlfriend, so I'm in the sort of relationship you described.

Welcome. I like it here, and hope you do, too!
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  #18  
Old 09-11-2009, 02:58 AM
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foxflame88 foxflame88 is offline
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Welcome aboard!
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  #19  
Old 09-11-2009, 08:13 PM
DaveOrlando DaveOrlando is offline
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Thanks for all of the welcomes...

You all seem very kind and understanding.

~Dave~
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  #20  
Old 09-11-2009, 09:08 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveOrlando View Post
I guess I have a fear of them ganging up on me
Women only?!!! no no my friend... two men can too. Believe me heh. Mono and my husband are relentless in their teasing and their love equally. I love all of it

There is lots to read here and I hope you are able to take the time to take a gander at it all...lots of really good information from lots of diverse people all searching for answers and giving good advice.

Hope you find what you are looking for. Just take it slow and stay open... there is a lot of work to be done, but it is a really awesome life to those who do the work and who "fit" poly.
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