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  #111  
Old 03-17-2011, 05:35 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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hello to all

Had the longest night sleep yet....perhaps my head is out of my ass...can only hope.


Carma we have separate checking accounts.... I bought the house pd cash she pays some utilities and some other stuff can't really remember now.

It just seems I'm saddle with the whole fucking mess.... Maybe I should offer to pay for his counseling too....I'm sure he feels a little guilty..... you broke it you fix it.....that is a common phrase used in my shop.....seems appropriate in this as well.


Nycindie

I want to purchase that hook thing....that is why I ask what its called. I really don't feel comfortable enough to do that is person today. I am going request one of my employee's do it for me. I would never ask certain people here in the office.....on the other hand there are few guy's here in which it may turn into interesting conversation. I'm guessing there may be resistance or a refusal. I was really thinking of their reactions to my request that's all.

Have an appointment for myself on the 28th was scheduled in the early after math.... the therapist was out of town or going out of town....got the earliest available appointments.

I have not been told she was suicidal by anyone other than her the day after the meltdown..... she may have said similar things that night as well. I told her at the time that it would only compound the problem and I think you have been selfish enough and to start thinking of your kids.
Right now if she walk up to me and told me she was going to kill herself I'd have a hard time believing it at face value. The trust in her words is gone.



LovingRadiance

Thanks you for the input.

I unsure what you mean by the conversation is lacking in communication. I think everyone is/has communicated their thoughts quite clearly. Its true people have given me links to look into for better understanding... And I have not....I think I carried enough of the load right now.....to painful.and to tired.
As you said if one of your kids discovered pictures of you or walked while you hanging form the ceiling YOU would be the one to talk with that child not your father or some non- involved person cleaning up after you. That seems responsible....and I believe you when you say it. I don't have that.

You gave the impression you not into these types of photo's by twice referring to such images as" shit " I'm again surprised ....don't know why just I'm.

Redpepper

Your bullet point summarize very nicely...I could add several more but I think you've given the general picture.

The question you asked of abuse...is that the same as when you asked if she was a owned slave. Are these related? I asked then... what difference would/should that make to me??

I had thought originally that she would resurface after a week or so....

I planned to sit both of them down in my conference room with all the material and have a discussion. That's why I want the hook..... center piece for the table.

I feel I have shouldered this entire mess....now you say ask before you judge. Well how about they offer so I don't have to draw my own conclusions.

Most of the "why" questions have been answered with I don't know you need to ask her. Which is true.

The big topic in her (daughters) sessions from what I've been told is the mental torture from the discovery of the material and her final breakdown in telling me......and the then the surround aftermath. And yes "accidents" are not uncommon and they have told me several general stories. Mostly older kids walking into live situations.... one kid running into parents at some event or group party. Injuries are not uncommon either.


angelsndevils

Thanks ....You're on the right track .....except I wasn't planing to send it ...just display it and perhaps inquire as to how he was planning to make me his bitch....show me....something like that.

I think he believes all emails and photo's were deleted early on he/they don't know what I have. So ya still a little angry with fuckboy....can't see that going away. You won't find one thing... one email ...one text were I've attacked him .... I've said here I got a bad vibe...made a joke about his name but that's it. If I did please correct me ...I don't remember.

Thank you all D
  #112  
Old 03-17-2011, 08:33 PM
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I ask if her actions are consentual. Did she agree to all parts of what appeared to be going on in those pictures or was he forcing and manipulating her. Abuse is not part of BDSM. There are big differences. At least there should be. It could mean a big difference to how your meeting goes to understand this.
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  #113  
Old 03-17-2011, 08:41 PM
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Your desire to buy the hook and have it on the table when you confront them creeps me out and makes me feel a bit ill.

This is an honest reporting of my gut reaction, though I am not yet able to articulate exactly why... partly due to time constraints, and partly due to the fact that just thinking about it makes me queasy so I am unable to focus on divining the reasons behind my reaction.

There is definitely something wrong with this, though.
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  #114  
Old 03-17-2011, 08:47 PM
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Penny, it creeps me out too. Possibly because any confrontation would be better off if it focused on something other than what they did in private.
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  #115  
Old 03-17-2011, 08:54 PM
Hannahfluke Hannahfluke is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Penny View Post
Your desire to buy the hook and have it on the table when you confront them creeps me out and makes me feel a bit ill.

This is an honest reporting of my gut reaction, though I am not yet able to articulate exactly why... partly due to time constraints, and partly due to the fact that just thinking about it makes me queasy so I am unable to focus on divining the reasons behind my reaction.

There is definitely something wrong with this, though.
I think the reason it creeps me out is that it is so vindictive and full of hate. And who are you, dingedheart, referring to when you say you're planning on sitting "them" down with it there? If it's your daughter and your wife, that is just plain mean. It's bad enough to have to have seen the pictures at 13, do you really want her to be in the same room with the instrument and get even more information about what that must have been like, to see it and be able to touch it?? Just seems cruel. Even if it's his wife and her boyfriend, its still mean and vindictive. Why have it there?
  #116  
Old 03-17-2011, 10:01 PM
angelsndevils angelsndevils is offline
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His reference of "them" is wife and the master(fuckboy) I think he calls them. Thats what I got out of the replies.

I don't find wrong nor right...we all deal with anger/hurt/jealous feeling different.

perfect example...I got robbed while working the third shift at a gas station...he came in and demanded money..okay I gave it to him..I then laughed and told him please don't leave any candy behind. Could I have been shot..sure but I had to deal with the situation how I saw fit for me.

I believe sometimes you need to be vindictive other wise your just a welcome mat for more emotional abuse!
  #117  
Old 03-17-2011, 10:58 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Gosh dinged, it's just a toy for anal sexual pleasure. And you're gonna get your employee to go buy one?? They're available on the internet. Just google it, man.

Amazon, even.

/Kink-Industries-The-Anal-Hook/dp/B003AYTI4W
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Last edited by NeonKaos; 03-18-2011 at 01:56 AM.
  #118  
Old 03-18-2011, 01:52 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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I bet my boyfriend would like one of those, but he ain't using it on me.

Look folks, so far three out of five moderators agree that this thread is not about poly, so wrap things up 'cause I'm gonna close it tomorrow, unless someone else does so before then.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 03-18-2011 at 01:55 AM.
  #119  
Old 03-18-2011, 02:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angelsndevils View Post
I just want let LR know..I totally agree with how you explained everything. I have been coming back to read all these post and see whats new.
Thank you Angelsndevils.

I too find that sometimes I just have to get it out of my system. I can't say I would necessarily say it TO HER-but I sure as hell would be on here spewing the venom out. (hell, I have for lesser things).

Shock is a terrible thing. It's one thing if you are looking at something from an outside perspective-ESPECIALLY if it's something you are aware of and educated in. Like a cop who specializes in rape cases, it's not that they don't care, but they become jaded because they see it every day at work.

On the other hand, in addition to the problem at hand-when you add shock that really can screw a person up.
Add to that the fact that not only is Dinged shocked-but his daughter was shocked and she's a child.

There are just so many nuances here.
It seems purposeless to press dinged when he's obviously taking active steps forward already. To presume that he's going to stop suddenly, when he has been moving forward actively from the beginning... well that seems a bit premature.
He keeps asking for information and then returning to get more. He seems to be pretty on top of his game so to speak-even though all of the pain, horror, shock, fear, concern.....
If he needs to say what a fuck up he thinks his wife is... well I think that is perfectly reasonable...

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  #120  
Old 03-18-2011, 03:12 AM
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Quote:
Had the longest night sleep yet....perhaps my head is out of my ass...can only hope.
EXCELLENT! Each little bit more is a step in the right direction! I thought of you yesterday when I got an email (from a newsletter I subscribe to) that was talking about how to get to sleep. They suggested running and some other things. I can't recall the specifics-just that it made me think of you.

Quote:
Have an appointment for myself on the 28th was scheduled in the early after math.... the therapist was out of town or going out of town....got the earliest available appointments.
That's good too. One day at a time. Sometimes it seems like forever, but that's all the more we can do.

Quote:
The trust in her words is gone.
I can only imagine. What a disaster. I can't help but wonder what the hell she's thinking (but my major is Psych, it's not a personal wonder, it's from the curiosity of work that I wonder).


Quote:
I unsure what you mean by the conversation is lacking in communication.
What I meant-is that it appears people are presuming that what you say here is "the whole kit and kaboodle" and are expressing concern over what your words here might transfer to actions in real life as. I don't think that they are recieving precisely what you are trying to express. Not judging-God knows it happens ALL OF THE TIME to me. Just-my impression is that you are busting your ass to clean up a disaster that you didn't create and not that you are simply running around manic acting like an ass.

Quote:
Its true people have given me links to look into for better understanding... And I have not....I think I carried enough of the load right now.....to painful.and to tired.
Makes perfect sense to me. Someday-if you re-read the thread when your life isn't turned upside down, you will see the post I made to more information. In it I said it was for later, when you weren't in an uproar. I totally get it. You can't do EVERYTHING at one time. EVEN if you wanted to.

Quote:
As you said if one of your kids discovered pictures of you or walked while you hanging form the ceiling YOU would be the one to talk with that child not your father or some non- involved person cleaning up after you. That seems responsible....and I believe you when you say it. I don't have that.
D, I can't even IMAGINE the level of irresponsibility your wife has shown to your kids. I can't wrap my mind around it. Not even for 5 seconds. I don't allow myself to get into situations where that shit would happen. BUT-if ANYTHING that bothered or left my kids in question came up-you're damn right, if I had the balls to participate in the activity-I have the responsibility to ensure that it doesn't destroy my kids. I'd be right there at their side.

Quote:
You gave the impression you not into these types of photo's by twice referring to such images as" shit " I'm again surprised ....don't know why just I'm.
Oh honey-you really should take time to check out my blogs. I'm not into that shit. Not in the pictures OR the activities.
There is a BDSM thread on this site somewhere, that I started. I think it pretty clearly stresses just precisely how not into that shit I am. I can respect anyone doing whatever they want in their own life.
But-in my life? Hell no. I have a slave-and there is NO WAY I would EVER treat him that way. He obeys me. But, he wouldn't have agreed to being my slave and obeying me if I were the kind of person who would degrade or demean another.
If you are curious-pm me, it doesn't fit this thread really. I've a limited interest in BDSM, specifically in D/s-I'm not into S/M or anything beyond light bondage.

Quote:
Thanks ....You're on the right track .....except I wasn't planing to send it ...just display it and perhaps inquire as to how he was planning to make me his bitch....show me....something like that.
I'm boggled by his cockiness. I think that's a hell of a lot calmer than I would be. . . .
No, I know it is. If someone said they were going to make me their bitch-I'd be violent. shrug.


I think you're doing a great job. I'm sorry you have to-but I'm glad there are people out there who are willing to make that effort for their kids.
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