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  #11  
Old 08-04-2014, 11:08 PM
leilasi leilasi is offline
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I think it is ok when people are trustworthy AND everybody agrees. Right now there are only 3 people involved, maybe comes a 4th soon because I'm looking for a lover and we get to know everything (yum, spicy details!). I honestly don't know what I'd do when meeting a new guy. I hate condoms like totally. If it would be a friend it would be a good idea to have a test and be open about it all. Would I even want to have sex with someone I am not sure I can trust? Small chance.
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  #12  
Old 08-05-2014, 12:30 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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I think if you're having sex with someone it should always be someone you trust, but also you have to consider that as far as STI's are concerned, if you're sleeping with them, you're sort of sleeping with all of their partners as well. Plus there are pregnancy issues to consider.
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  #13  
Old 08-05-2014, 01:43 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClockworkDragon View Post
Our condom rule is non-negotiable; unprotected sex is for my primary partner and me only. Even if someone is disease free, it's an intimacy we reserve for each other.
Maybe some people don't like that kind of hierarchy. It's okay to reserve something within your primary relationship as long as you're upfront about it with your other partners, but your other partners also have the right to reject it.
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  #14  
Old 08-05-2014, 03:59 AM
lili lili is offline
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If you say no and someone keep saying "but pleeease" and they are a grown adult, that's a sign of sleaze.
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  #15  
Old 08-05-2014, 06:03 AM
ClockworkDragon ClockworkDragon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eponine View Post
Maybe some people don't like that kind of hierarchy. It's okay to reserve something within your primary relationship as long as you're upfront about it with your other partners, but your other partners also have the right to reject it.
Its definitely not a hierarchy thing. I don't mention relationship stuff in that context. I state point blank "I don't have sex without condoms." And I have no problem with them rejecting it. But I should not have to ARGUE against someone trying to convince me to change s rule I've already made clear before the clothes even come off. Its respect! If they don't have sex with condoms, they need to be the ones up front about that and not try go force me into something I'm not comfortable with.

I should not have to justify my own self protection!

Last edited by ClockworkDragon; 08-05-2014 at 06:09 AM.
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  #16  
Old 08-05-2014, 08:15 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Methinks the lines may be blurred between, "Even if someone is disease free, it's an intimacy we reserve for each other," and, "Some STDs can lie undetected and asymptomatic. And I don't care what you claim about sperm count; I have an IUD anyway."

I take it your point is, You shouldn't have to explain the reasons why you want a condom used. And you shouldn't. I just observe three reasons based on your OP:
  • contraception,
  • health protection,
  • primary partner intimacy.
Nothing wrong with those reasons, I'm just pointing out that the third listed reason could seem hierarchical at first glance. Unless the third reason is a direct outgrowth of the first two? It's that point where the lines get blurred. For me.
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  #17  
Old 08-08-2014, 03:30 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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I hope you feel better for the vent.

Quote:
I state point blank "I don't have sex without condoms."
Quote:
If they don't have sex with condoms, they need to be the ones up front about that and not try go force me into something I'm not comfortable with.
Yup. Your body, your right to choose who you want to be fluid bonded with or not. Your biz.

No, you do not have to justify, argue, defend, or explain. No JADE. Your body is YOURS.

Someone trying to talk you into doing something you do not want to do with your body (share sex without a condom) is not being respectful of your boundaries.

I'm sorry you had to deal in that.

Galagirl
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  #18  
Old 08-08-2014, 07:21 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I think it's a very personal decision. Each person has the right to their choice.
BUT-if your preferences are in conflict, you shouldn't be having sex with each other.

In our V; we don't use protection. However at any time an additional person is brought in-protection is used and a new round of testing is done as well.
It's just our preference.
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  #19  
Old 08-09-2014, 07:01 AM
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If we would stop cutting off foreskins for cosmetic and laziness reasons (not including religious), condoms wouldn't be as "annoying" as claimed.
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  #20  
Old 08-09-2014, 02:49 PM
LoveBunny LoveBunny is offline
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Personally, I hate condoms, and would rather use other methods of birth/STI control where I feel safe enough to do so. But I can't imagine EVER trying to convince someone to have sex without a condom who didn't feel comfortable doing so.

I've never encountered a dental dam, and I hope I never do.
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