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  #21  
Old 07-31-2014, 04:34 PM
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Well no I don't. But not all parents are the same. I'm not saying anyone should hide it but for me personally in the future...... I'm not so sure or certain. In truth their disapproval would be disheartening but wouldn't stop me.
Exactly, no two parents or family backgrounds are the same. We all have to make the choice that is best for us and our family. I am grateful for those that are able to be out, and able to raise awareness of poly.
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  #22  
Old 07-31-2014, 06:13 PM
Hannahfluke Hannahfluke is offline
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Well no I don't. But not all parents are the same. I'm not saying anyone should hide it but for me personally in the future...... I'm not so sure or certain. In truth their disapproval would be disheartening but wouldn't stop me.
Quite surprisingly to me, since my mother was incredibly judgmental and conservative minded when I was living at home 20 years ago, my mother was the most supportive person in both of our families when we came out to them a couple of years ago. My siblings mostly reacted in a range of "you're weird and I wouldn't do it but we love you and support you" to "we never want to talk to again about this, we're going to ignore that anything weird is going on (which was quite the feat, since my boyfriend at the time went to Thanksgiving dinner with us at my sister's house)." One of my brothers threw a fit because I had brought my boyfriend to his father-in-law's funeral family luncheon because he was at my house at the time fixing things. We totally acted like platonic friends and my brother and his wife were fine with it, until they found out the real relationship and then it became this huge thing of disrespect and they never wanted to be in the same room as my ex again. My husband's parents were disappointed, one of his brothers never did tell us his reaction, the other one thinks it's weird to try to do for a long period of time.

My mom, though, wanted to know if I was really okay with it, what she could do to help me, and offered to be a listening ear if I needed it. She doesn't think it's something she could do, but she accepts it's something that we feel we need to do and wants to support us in anyway possible. It's amazing to see that she's grown less judgmental and conservative as she's aged, which is usually not the case.
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  #23  
Old 07-31-2014, 06:34 PM
poly6 poly6 is offline
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I guess I just don't want to explain why I want to do it. I don't really know how to explain it to them. Hell they have a hard enough time thinking about other possibilities for me. For example it's outright assumed I want kids or even if I don't I will have them anyway, which may or may not be true yet, but around them it sounds like I don't have a choice. If I don't I have no idea how they would take it. Its expected.
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  #24  
Old 07-31-2014, 08:03 PM
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As you continue to get older and gain more independence, I hope it'll come to seem unnecessary to have to explain yourself to your parents, or want what they think you should want. Eventually, you should be able to feel like you can say, "Mom, Dad, this is what kind of person I am and this is what I want, and I have my own reasons and I hope you'll just accept that about me."
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  #25  
Old 07-31-2014, 11:27 PM
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HA HA HA AHA HA HA! Excuse for me for sounding a bit rude here and I apologize in advanced but that doesn't even work now! It will never work in the future even as an adult.
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  #26  
Old 07-31-2014, 11:30 PM
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HA HA HA AHA HA HA! Excuse for me for sounding a bit rude here and I apologize in advanced but that doesn't even work now! It will never work in the future even as an adult.
What do you mean by work? It works if you are in a place where you don't need their acceptance, because then it doesn't matter what their reaction is. If you are attempting to change their view, then it may or may not "work."
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  #27  
Old 07-31-2014, 11:57 PM
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My parents know about our lifestyle choice but everyone who knows me in real life is also aware of the fact that I don't give a hoot what they think of me or my life. They can accept & love me for who I am or find their way out of my life. That goes for family & friends.
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  #28  
Old 08-01-2014, 12:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poly6 View Post
I guess I just don't want to explain why I want to do it. I don't really know how to explain it to them. Hell they have a hard enough time thinking about other possibilities for me. For example it's outright assumed I want kids or even if I don't I will have them anyway, which may or may not be true yet, but around them it sounds like I don't have a choice. If I don't I have no idea how they would take it. Its expected.
It doesn't actually matter, what they think, does it? Your career, having kids, being married or not, poly or mono - these are all choices we make as adults. You will be extremely miserable whether you base your life choices on what they would approve of, or tiptoe around them trying to hide your life choices. Be your own person and live your life for you.
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  #29  
Old 08-01-2014, 07:12 PM
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Amen.
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  #30  
Old 08-02-2014, 12:46 PM
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I'm "out" to my mom and, while she doesn't approve (she's a born-again Christian), she tolerates it to the point where last weekend, when I was visiting my hometown with my partner, she agreed to and enjoyed brunch with us. When she parted ways with us, she said, "Be good to each other!"

I think it helps that a) I also came out as bi to her some years back, so she's used to me throwing her for a loop, b) I moved out at 17 and have never lived in Hometown again, so I have a history of independence and c) she's one of those mothers who loves her kids more than anything, and I'm not sure there's anything I could ever do to make her completely cut off contact.

The only people I'm not out to (yet, anyway) when the matter has come up are my elderly bosses, and that's mostly only because it's none of their business. I may yet come out to them eventually, if it makes sense to do. They tend to treat me like a daughter (it's a small family business), so it very well might come up eventually.

As for the arguments I, personally, have heard against it, it's mostly just been people expressing concern that I might be a love addict or being incredulous that it would ever work because they "could never share," themselves. Though I did also have one particularly creative friend hypothesize that my boyfriend and I "are only doing this because we're afraid of cheating." People who know me know better than to advance any sort of god argument in my presence.
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