Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-14-2014, 11:16 PM
HelloSweety HelloSweety is offline
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 39

Originally Posted by sparklepop View Post
Hi Sweety, and welcome

If I could add anything to what others have said, and what you have already said, it would only be that it can be good to remember to ask others what they need. So often, we take it upon ourselves to ensure that we are balancing time/energy/whatever else (especially if we are the hinge in a V), and can forget to ask whether this actually suits everyone. For example, while one partner may love having a date night in the house just watching TV and being together, another partner may love to go out of town and experience new things.

Since you said you are looking for personal experiences?... As a general rule of thumb, if I've been on a date with someone, I'll try to make a date/special time with my GF. If I've been having a rough time with someone and GF's been dealing with my mopey ass, I'll try to make some special time with GF to connect and avoid letting relationship problems with one partner spill into my relationship with GF.

On the other hand, I'd say that my GF struggles with balancing time. She also doesn't 'do' scheduling. She is a much less structured and more free-flowing person. This can make things difficult for us, but we try to understand each other and not take each other's different approaches personally. I'd say that's useful when it comes to poly time management.

Generally, I think things work well when you are able to understand each other. My GF and her husband, for instance, are pretty content to spend time around the house watching TV together. If GF applied this style of quality time with me, I'd be frustrated and bored, since I like adventure and discovery. So for us, it's not so much about having equal time, but simply feeling that we are able to regularly connect, in whatever way we prefer to connect. Does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense to me! And I know exactly what you mean we all like to get out of the house occasionally, even if that just means taking the kiddo to the park. Were huge nerds so our "Big Dates" are more along the lines of going to a Comic or sci fi or anime Con. Lol! But we also do trips to the zoo, aquarium, typical family type stuff, but also individual movie nights in. Or trying a new sushi place. Were kind of odd like that, but it works, and your right that I should ask my guys what it is that they need quality time wise. I hadn't really thought of that. So thank you very much!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-2014, 01:45 AM
Bubbles86 Bubbles86 is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Hayward, CA
Posts: 8

I do have a schedule that I use just as a guide to help me spend quality time with my hubby and boyfriend but I am dogmatic with it because I still trust my guy often with who needs my attention the most,
Me: M, mother of two, wife of both D and A
D: First husband, back into my life and father of our son
A: Second husband, father of our daughter

All of us are straight
Reply With Quote

calendar, equal time, fairness, logistics, scheduling, shared space, sharing, sharing resources, sleeping arrangements, time management

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 06:02 PM.