Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 06-05-2014, 02:25 AM
Lillywolf Lillywolf is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 5
Default Interested and very curious

Greetings! So I'm currently going through a divorce. We have been seperated for over a year and a half. The divorce should be final in the next month. I've been interested in poly for years. I've pretty much read every romance novel I could get my hands on to learn about it. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not really interested in a fmf relationship. No offense but girls have just too much drama, and I'm not attracted to girls. So that kind of rules that out. The thought of having a relationship with two guys would be perfect in my book. I don't want to be a hinge though, I want it to be a perfect triangle. Is that even possible?

I live in the in upper Michigan, and I don't really think we have a thriving community up here. I guess I just want to talk to others like me. Well cheers and I hope to hear from someone and their opinion(s) soon.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 06-05-2014, 03:02 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,982
Default

Greetings Lillywolf,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

An MFM (triad or) triangle is certainly possible -- but only if both men are bisexual. And of course only if each of the three people in the triangle are in love with both other persons. I guess what I'm saying is it may take awhile to find what you're looking for, so you'll need to be patient.

While you're waiting, learn all you can about polyamory (how it works, what to do, what not to do, etc.); read a lot and post a lot here on this site. You will certainly find much support and many like minds to rub shoulders with here.

Glad you could join us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-05-2014, 03:07 AM
Lillywolf Lillywolf is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 5
Default

Thanks for the greeting and support. I'm scoping everything out.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 06-05-2014, 04:23 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,235
Default

People should come first - not the poly configuration. Just see who you hit it off with and take it from there. If you try to orchestrate some artificial arrangement, it will likely backfire.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 06-06-2014, 02:11 AM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 518
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillywolf View Post
Greetings! So I'm currently going through a divorce. We have been seperated for over a year and a half. The divorce should be final in the next month. I've been interested in poly for years. I've pretty much read every romance novel I could get my hands on to learn about it. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not really interested in a fmf relationship. No offense but girls have just too much drama, and I'm not attracted to girls. So that kind of rules that out. The thought of having a relationship with two guys would be perfect in my book. I don't want to be a hinge though, I want it to be a perfect triangle. Is that even possible?

I live in the in upper Michigan, and I don't really think we have a thriving community up here. I guess I just want to talk to others like me. Well cheers and I hope to hear from someone and their opinion(s) soon.
Finding two mono men who don't want the trouble and hassle of what they would be expected to provide to a mono girlfriend is good (neither feels neglected or jealous of the other, since they prefer NOT to provide for all their girlfriend's needs). Finding a triad requires finding two bisexual men to be romantically interested in each other AND you...easiest way might be to join an existing relationship with two bi guys?

The easiest, of course, is to just date non-monogamous people looking for the kind of commitment level you desire. So, your boyfriend might be dating another straight girl, or bi girl, or whatever. Might be married. Might have a gay boyfriend.

Anyway, just a few possibilities!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 06-06-2014, 02:38 AM
Lillywolf Lillywolf is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 5
Default

The possibilities seem endless. Meeting up with any of the possibilities seems to be the issue. I feel it would be easier to join up with an existing couple then trying to get two random guys to form seperate relationships with me.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 06-06-2014, 02:56 AM
Inyourendo's Avatar
Inyourendo Inyourendo is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: sw missouri
Posts: 858
Default

well I suppose if you found two bisexual men that both like each other and like you then that could work but I imagine that's just as hard as finding a female male female triad perhaps even harder
__________________
Sue, openly in a vee with Nate (polysexual, many fwb) and Sam (Mono)
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 06-06-2014, 07:24 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,982
Default

Poly connections tend to form naturally and not always according to plan. Who knows what configuration you might end up with, and you might be more satisfied with it than you would have expected. Just throwing it out there as a possibility.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 06-06-2014, 07:34 PM
KerryRen KerryRen is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 90
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillywolf View Post
The thought of having a relationship with two guys would be perfect in my book. I don't want to be a hinge though, I want it to be a perfect triangle. Is that even possible?
It's possible, sure. Having a perfect triangle seems hard to find or create, though. It certainly shouldn't be forced (not that you are suggesting doing so).

By a 'perfect triangle' I'm assuming you mean everyone involved loves everyone else. Given that mutual love is hard to achieve between any two people, I think it would be correspondingly harder to have between any given three people.
__________________
-- Kerry J. Renaissance
39 y/o female, married/bisexual/poly/pagan/disabled/fan

In a V with
- Liam, 52 y/o straight male (married, 14 years)
- Jai, 41 y/o bi male
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 06-08-2014, 02:27 AM
Jade99 Jade99 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 6
Cool

I'm another newbie on this site and have a little experience but haven't had the relationship I was looking for so I walked away. I have a hard enough time meeting one person and now I am looking to join a couple lol. So far the approach that hasn't worked on me was "hey, I would like u for my husband". I'm pretty sure I got the original intention and I didn't like being approached like that. Pretty sure that was also just a sexual invitation. I see that there are rules posted here and there on this site. I would like to learn more about approach and curious what works or doesn't. I was in a monogamous relationship for 3 yrs and brought it up with him. He decided he was interested, met someone at work, started having an intimate relationship with her. I was so angry because he lied about it and he kept everything a secret which was cheating. I didn't trust him after what he put me through emotionally. He missed the whole point.

I really am at loss on this. Curious how everyone meets others in this lifestyle.

Ok no jumping here but I'm still uncertain the difference really between polyamory and polygamy. I have read definitions and well i honestly don't see a whole of difference.

Last edited by nycindie; 06-08-2014 at 06:39 AM. Reason: Merged near-duplicate posts.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:19 PM.