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Old 05-30-2014, 02:50 PM
Emberkisses Emberkisses is offline
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Join Date: May 2014
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Red face Is this who I am?

Hello all!
What started off as a fling for me, took a turn... I was just out of a serious monotonous relationship. Out of that, I brought a beautiful baby girl into this world. Soon after she was born, her father and I broke apart after being together for years. He refuses to be in her life. Upset, and not trusting many people after that, the idea of being in another relationship scared me to death. A threesome was always something I was interested in, and I then thought that this might be something I would like to experience before I thought I would be "Too Old".. Id hate to admit it, but I searched online for a couple. I figured if I slept with a couple that was already established, it would be harder for someone to fall for me. It would be an outlet to let off sexual frustration and a chance to make friends with as open of minds as I had.

When I found a couple, we almost instantly became comfortable with each other. We all hung out a couple times before I started sleeping with anyone. Everything was great, and after a few months I introduced them to my little girl. I would be with them 4 or 5 out of the 7 days of the week. Sleeping over some or most nights I was there, bringing my little girl and just spending time with her. Shortly after that, I started just sleeping with one of them at a time. If the lady was excited, but the man wasn't, I would sleep with her. And, Vice Versa if the man was excited.

Next thing I know, Both of them admitted to falling in love with me. Maybe a month after each other. I was terrified.. I didn't know how to feel or what to react. I was still upset from my relationship before them. I told them it was something I wasn't sure that was for me. I mean, I considered myself straight all my life. To sleep with another woman was an act of Lust,could I love her? Did I just feel this way because society made me feel this way? Who was I before the world told me who I was? On top of that, I didn't want to allow myself to love her boyfriend, and let myself get hurt.

Almost 3 or 4 months after this, I spent time with them. A tremendous amount of time. I cared greatly for both of them, but I was still scared. How would things work out? I want more kids, how would that work? How would I tell my parents who were very religious people? How would this effect my daughter? Is this healthy for her?

I eventually caved, and I was the last one to admit to both of them, that I fell for them. Not for each individually, but both of them, together. The three of us are now in a relationship. I call her my girlfriend, and him my boyfriend. I'm still afraid of a lot. Especially with my daughter, But all in all, I want to have a nice big beautiful family with them. And, I do love them.

Is this a form of polyamory? Are these normal questions and feelings I'm having? It's mostly Hush hush, but I don't want it to be. Love is about celebrating the people you care about, but is that what's best for my daughter? Maybe someone could shed some light on this. I hate this alone feeling, because nobody understands what kind of relationship i'm in. (Except, of course, the people I'm in it with). Maybe if I talk to you guys, I won't feel so alone.

~Ember
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  #2  
Old 05-31-2014, 12:07 AM
london london is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
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Yes. You're in a polyamorous triad.
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