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  #11  
Old 05-28-2014, 12:05 AM
LogicalThinker LogicalThinker is offline
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If I might step in as a Guy(straight) that has had 10 +- 3sums in the last 5 months with wife and a female friend.

Your guy sounds very much in a position I found my self in. His imagination of how thing would happen verse how it did messed him up BAD in the middle of it and he couldn't reset.

Example we had a partner that was so tight that it took me so much concentration to keep from cuming early that it made my wife feel ignored. It was not tell 3 days latter when we got to finally talk it out that she forgave me and understood for the next time.
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  #12  
Old 05-28-2014, 02:58 AM
graviton graviton is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicalThinker View Post
If I might step in as a Guy(straight) that has had 10 +- 3sums in the last 5 months with wife and a female friend.

Your guy sounds very much in a position I found my self in. His imagination of how thing would happen verse how it did messed him up BAD in the middle of it and he couldn't reset.

Example we had a partner that was so tight that it took me so much concentration to keep from cuming early that it made my wife feel ignored. It was not tell 3 days latter when we got to finally talk it out that she forgave me and understood for the next time.
I see no similarities with your story. What I see is someone eager to share his sexual stories and counts his threesomes as bragging points.
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  #13  
Old 05-28-2014, 03:13 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Originally Posted by graviton View Post
I see no similarities with your story. What I see is someone eager to share his sexual stories and counts his threesomes as bragging points.
I took Logical Thinker's comment to mean that there might have been something going on for which the ignored feeling party was unaware and might understand if she knew.
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  #14  
Old 05-28-2014, 03:18 AM
LogicalThinker LogicalThinker is offline
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Originally Posted by graviton View Post
I see no similarities with your story. What I see is someone eager to share his sexual stories and counts his threesomes as bragging points.
I'm sorry. I felt do to the OP's sexual amounts in their original post and the note by the OP that it was only 1 out of many that it was correct to show you could have many great times and one less then seller time.

Bragging by telling a story about a time that left me sexually paranoid for months and caused a relationship rift that took weeks to fix.
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  #15  
Old 05-28-2014, 10:03 AM
graviton graviton is offline
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I think its more than natural that a new lover is going to cause most peoples eyes to glaze over when they see their more established spouse/lover who they've had sex with hundreds of times. nre, novelty, maybe she's more physically pleasing to his eye, I wouldn't take it personally. Just communicate your feeling of jealousy and being ignored to him.
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  #16  
Old 05-29-2014, 11:32 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by graviton View Post
I think its more than natural that a new lover is going to cause most peoples eyes to glaze over when they see their more established spouse/lover who they've had sex with hundreds of times . . . Just communicate your feeling of jealousy and being ignored to him.
Or forget about threesomes and let the sex take place one-on-one among the dyads. Then no one has to worry about making sure every sex act is doled out evenly and you just enjoy your time with the other person privately. Why do so many people think polyamory = threesomes?
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 05-29-2014 at 11:34 PM.
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  #17  
Old 05-30-2014, 12:44 AM
LordGreystroke69 LordGreystroke69 is offline
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Default I agree with Marcus

I have been in dozens of threesomes and larger over 20 years and my experience is the same as Marcus. It's either all in sync or not. I find that the new person is always the focus of the excitement, but I agree with others here who say you must all focus on the new person to make him/her feel special. This eliminates those insecurities.
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