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  #41  
Old 06-26-2014, 06:27 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
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Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Poly's not for everyone; it's true.

I hope you find the right solution that works for you.
thanks KDT. broke up with Nudge and still separated from J. So right now, its time to figure out me. haven't done that in about 18 years without a man, so should be interesting.
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  #42  
Old 06-26-2014, 06:31 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
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Sounds like a rough and rocky road. But, sometimes those are the kinds of roads that lead to the summits of the highest mountains. Hang in there; you'll get it figured out.
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  #43  
Old 06-26-2014, 06:35 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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I know LR, I'm not doubting it I guess I've just realized its not for me. I cant play second fiddle.
Then is Nudge the man for you?

He is poly. So there is a pretty damn good chance that he IS going to find someone else he is going to want to date at some point. He is not a kid person and you have 3 YOUNG children.

Murf doesn't have kids of his biological own BUT he did want them. They just never happened for him. Well it almost did for us but the pregnancy was tubal and almost killed me. He decided that having me was more important than having a child, and that he loves my boys as his own. I couldn't be deeply involved with a man who didn't like children. My boys are young and there is no way that they are not going to effect how my life is run.

Poly is hard. BUT I know a lot of poly families that are happy and drama free. My life is boring and tame with no drama beyond what comes in life. (ie bills, health issues, etc) Nothing poly related.
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  #44  
Old 06-26-2014, 08:59 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Sounds like spending some time on you is what you need right now then.

GL!

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  #45  
Old 06-27-2014, 11:44 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Originally Posted by gorgeouskitten View Post
thanks KDT. broke up with Nudge and still separated from J. So right now, its time to figure out me. haven't done that in about 18 years without a man, so should be interesting.
Hang in there, gal. It's a tough row to hoe, but I'm with Kevin: in the long run, you'll come out in a better place. Nothing more important than figuring out ourselves. Ironically, it often takes a lot of experimentation, trial and error before we collect enough data to start that process.
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  #46  
Old 06-27-2014, 12:14 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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gorgeouskitten,

First, I am sorry. It sounds like breaking up/being separated is probably the best course of action. But that doesn't make it any less painful.

Second, when my ex-wife and I broke up, I was devastated. My life as I had known it was over and I had no idea what or who I was without that context. The last few years have been exploring and seeing who I am. I won't lie - it was often incredibly difficult. A lot of the time, especially that first year, I was just hanging on.

But now, a few years down the road from the breakup, I have grown so much, in ways that being in that relationship at that time would probably not have allowed to happen. (This is not my ex-wife's fault btw - I was a different person then.) I hope you find the same to be true for you in a few years time.
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  #47  
Old 06-27-2014, 01:00 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
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Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
gorgeouskitten,

First, I am sorry. It sounds like breaking up/being separated is probably the best course of action. But that doesn't make it any less painful.

Second, when my ex-wife and I broke up, I was devastated. My life as I had known it was over and I had no idea what or who I was without that context. The last few years have been exploring and seeing who I am. I won't lie - it was often incredibly difficult. A lot of the time, especially that first year, I was just hanging on.

But now, a few years down the road from the breakup, I have grown so much, in ways that being in that relationship at that time would probably not have allowed to happen. (This is not my ex-wife's fault btw - I was a different person then.) I hope you find the same to be true for you in a few years time.
Thank you for this, more so than myself...I think Nudge will go through a lot of that and I need to give him time and space...but hope to be together.

THanks Bookbug too, I know you know what yorue talkin bout!

So yeah, I am focusing on me. No one else can love you if you don't love yourself, and I want to know I can find happiness without romance.
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