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Old 05-10-2014, 07:12 AM
london london is offline
Join Date: May 2013
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The friend analogy is a good way to highlight sex negativity. You lead the person to say that the main difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship is sex. Then you allow them to tell you how terrible it is for people (but especially women) to have more than one sexual relationship at a time.
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Old 05-21-2014, 12:44 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 1,341

Hated planting the discussion and then disappearing, but it's fun to catch up...

Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
Why does everyone say that as if I'm asking them to date me or if I care whether they'd be poly or not? I wonder what they'd say to you if they said, "I'm going to the bathroom." And you said, "I'm not ready to pee yet."
Ha! Love that.

For me, translating things into how I would relate to them is my way of relating to the conversation at hand and interpreting things through my own filters. I'm aware, though, that it can come across to some people as, "She keeps making this all about herself."

Like Marcus said, it's really to keep the conversation going, and the other person can choose to ask me what my POV is and why, or just keep going with their side of the conversation.

As for the IF/THEN model, yes, our assumptions are definitely shaped by our environment. My truth may differ from yours if my environment is different in the first place, and while many people tend to assume that their "truth" is universal, it isn't, and therein lies the original communication problem.
Dramatis personae:
Me: 46/F, Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, fish, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 47/M, Partner of 6 years, lives half-time with me, half with Xena.
Spinner: 52/M, Friend I've been on a few dates with. Divorced, Mono, wrapping his head around it all.
Xena: 47/F, Chops' other nesting partner of 6 years
Curls: 50/F, Chops' partner of 1 year

Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter
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analogies, communication, communication styles, comparison, defending polyamory, language, mono/poly, terminology

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