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Old 04-21-2014, 09:06 PM
Realsimple21 Realsimple21 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 3
Default Feeling off

So my husband and I have been poly (mostly him) for the last few years. But for some reason after everything fell apart with this last girlfriend (who i became close with as well) I am having a hard time with the thought of him meeting other people.
I have no doubts of what our relationship is. I know he loves me and we are happy. I logically dont mind him having other people in his life and hope they can be in my life too but I just cant get over this feeling.
I dont know how to deal with how i am feeling. My husband doesnt judge me or get angry about my feelings, but I am getting angry at myself.
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Old 04-21-2014, 11:46 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 519

It's good that your husband is being so patient with you. But really, if you can't figure out what's wrong, that's going to cause issues. Because relationship problems are because of the two people in that particular relationship, not because of other people.

If you're having a jealousy issue or whatever, it's likely going to cause a rift between you, unless you can identify and solve it.
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Old 04-22-2014, 12:18 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,344

Could it be you are still mourning the loss of the exGF?

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Old 04-22-2014, 01:45 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,448

Just to clarify, it's the "thought" of him meeting other people, right? i.e. he hasn't really been meeting people that you've been uncomfortable about?

Fear often comes out of the stories we tell ourselves, possible scenarios we make up that may or may not happen. What thoughts run through your mind when you think about him going on a date?

The thing that pings for me is that you were close with the last girlfriend, and then everything fell apart. Were your needs being considered when that happened? Did you do self-care to work on your own pain from that, given that you were friends as well? It's possible that you're afraid that if he meets someone else and you get close to her, the rug is going to be ripped out from under you, again.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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