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  #11  
Old 04-15-2014, 08:24 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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It would be easy to say "If they don't support you, screw 'em!", but it's also easy to love people who treat you poorly. It sounds like you've come to the right decision though. Speak up for yourself and draw lines where you must.

Wish you well.
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Me - male, 42, poly, straight, in a serious relationship with Audrey, also casually dating.

Audrey - female, 20, poly, pansexual, also casually dating.

Last edited by vanquish; 04-15-2014 at 09:32 PM.
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  #12  
Old 04-15-2014, 08:27 PM
london london is offline
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"That" sort of relationship is one with typical primary style entanglements like shared finances, living together, the "normal" stuff which I feel is very difficult to replicate. What you can do is shun the correlation people generally apply to practical entanglements and romantic commitment. You can't make other people do that though.

Overall, I think the best thing you can do to "prove people wrong" is be happy and healthy whilst doing whatever they believe you're doing wrong. If one's friends are against polyamory and then they see one having unhealthy and unhappy polyamorous relationships, it will only serve to prove them right.
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  #13  
Old 04-15-2014, 09:01 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vanquish View Post
It would be easy to say "If they don't support you, screw 'em!", but it's easy to love people who treat you poorly. It sounds like you've come to the right decision though. Speak up for yourself and draw lines where you must.

Wish you well.
Indeed. My friends are actually well-intentioned. They only want to protect me. The problem is I don't want to be protected. I'm tired of having people tell me what I want; I want them to trust me that I'm capable of deciding that for myself
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  #14  
Old 04-15-2014, 11:23 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Thanks for the clarification.

You could tell them to stop bringing it up. Topic no longer up for discussion. They either respect that boundary or not. Then you choose to keep associating with them or not.

There is nothing wrong with you saying "Thank you for the concern. I am capable of choosing what I want for myself. Topic not up for discussion. No need to concern yourself for my sake."

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 04-15-2014 at 11:27 PM.
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  #15  
Old 04-15-2014, 11:50 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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When describing your relationship/situation, if I were you, I would focus mostly on you and what you enjoy/appreciate/"get out of" your involvement with this man, rather than going to too much pains to describe his relationship status. In other words, "This relationship is just right for me. We spend the amount of time together that really works for my life and I feel valued and respected by him. He's in another relationship and it's working out just fine for me. I am happy." Then only offer enough information as they ask for it, and if you don't like the questions, you can say, "why do you ask?"
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