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View Poll Results: Have you come out as poly
No and I don't plan to 4 20.00%
No but I hope to soon 2 10.00%
Yes, I did straight away 8 40.00%
Yes, I did after 6 months of my first poly relationship 6 30.00%
Yes , I did after 12 months of my first poly relationship 0 0%
Yes, I did , after a fair bit longer 0 0%
Voters: 20. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-20-2014, 11:26 AM
sweetersong sweetersong is offline
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 25
Default Poll-Have you come out (as poly)

I can see there is threads on advice for coming out, and experiences, but just wanted to gauge numbers (partly personally, partly being nosey.

For now it will just be very close friends that know about our situation (I have told one best friend, and I plan to talk to another tomorrow). If and when I become serious with someone, I hope to work out with my husband whether to share this information with family, and if so, who.

If it was just me to consider, I would be out and proud, but my husband is (at least for now, most likely will stay that way) mono, and I know he won't feel comfortable with family knowing that I am seeing other people, even if it is a woman, so for now it will just stay with close friends.
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Old 04-20-2014, 01:35 PM
Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
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Location: Crazytown USA
Posts: 1,885

I was a poly teen. My first husband had a girlfriend and we came out from the start. My boyfriend is a co-worker of mine so everyone I know at work know I'm poly
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Old 04-20-2014, 05:06 PM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
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Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,484

I came out within a month to my friends, my extended family around 6 months. So I was out 100% at 6 months. It just became intolerable to me that I had to keep my loves and my life a secret.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

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Old 04-20-2014, 06:21 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 519

This poll is a bit vague. "Being out" has different levels. To me, it's not 100% out unless you are as free with the poly relationship as a monogamous; in other words, freely attending work/family functions with the various partners; posting on Facebook; casually mentioning when someone asks you if you're engaged yet, Oh, I have two boyfriends, actually.

I have slowly extended my "closet" to more and more trusted friends and family.

But it's hard for me to give a simple answer to, "Have you come out?" To some, yes, the first day. To others, after a month, or six months, or two years. For some, I don't ever plan to tell.

Fully coming out to me will be when I'm not worried about retribution against myself or the others involved.
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Old 04-20-2014, 06:51 PM
sweetersong sweetersong is offline
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 25

I see what you mean PiP. I think in my head I meant out to most day to day people (ie immediately family, friends, work colleagues), but I can see how it is vague too. It is hard to quantify in such poll options.
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Old 04-20-2014, 06:58 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I can't really say Yes or No, so I didn't vote. Personally, I don't go announcing what I do or how I live because I'm a very private person (for example, it's a pet peeve of mine when co-workers ask me what I did on my days off - it's my private time away from work and irrelevant to people I work with so I'd rather they leave me the fuck alone and just focus on what we have ahead of us). However, if people do ask me specifics about my relationships, I would tell them. I don't really celebrate most holidays and rarely ever get invited to events like weddings and such (I actually haven't been to a wedding in at least 10 years), so being "out there" in public situations like that is really not an issue for me. BTW, I am a solo poly, so my relationships are all separate and I live alone.
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Old 04-20-2014, 07:27 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Posts: 519

Oh, and to further complicate, it started out as an open relationship, not poly. It evolved from a physical fling to something we both wanted to be a romantic relationship. So, when does "Day One" start? Day One from realizing I was poly? Took me about six months to adjust to the idea-- just for myself! Once he and I had an "official" talk; I told people within a week.

Sigh...being poly can make even questions like, "When was your first date"? a little complicated....
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Old 04-20-2014, 08:17 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,785

I just live my life...

If people are curious they will ask.
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 50/50 split of time between my two husbands.
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Old 04-21-2014, 04:35 AM
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MsChristy MsChristy is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: East Coast
Posts: 90

For me it is also a complicated answer. I have friends that are also poly that I can talk openly about which is great. However my family is very conservative Christian and I have no desire to ever tell them, as I know they would not be understanding at all. My parents have actually met my bf several times, and they think he is a great guy, but then again, they see him as my good friend, not as the dude dating their married daughter.
MsChristy- married female
C-my husband
H-my partner
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Old 04-21-2014, 04:40 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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We all live together and everyone knows.
Our kids, nieces, nephews, grandkids and friends kids.
Classmates, coworkers etc.
Out on fb, in person. Not unusual for bf to drop me at school and dh to pick me up.
We don't hide or keep secrets about that.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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